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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-03-01 ... 13:32:47

Yesterday I went to the Eyebrow Lady for my monthly waxing. I know, it's awfully girly of me, but I like the way the eyebrows ("the eyebrows"? OK, MY eyebrows) look when they are slightly tweezed, but I do not have the patience to do said tweezing. Standing in front of the mirror, staring into my own monstrously close-up face, and pulling out one teeny tiny hair at a time is just not something I can do. Add that to the fact that my hands shake whenever I try to do anything small and detailed and steady (they always have, it's nothing new), and you will see why it makes sense to just pay the Eyebrow Lady $15 to wax 'em up.

Not that I feel I have to justify any of my salon services to you. Who do you think you are anyway?

I like the Eyebrow Lady. She's about as different from me as a person could possibly be and still be carbon-based. She is 100% Gold Coast. Wears a LOT of makeup. Lives in a loft, married for money (and admits it), has a little yappy dog, hasn't read a book in years (another thing she admits freely), and had to be reminded where India was when we discussed my recent vacation. On the other hand, she has a good sense of humor and knows how to laugh at herself, and there's something down-to-earth under all that makeup and gold jewelry. I mean, she IS a cosmetologist or facialist or whatever they call themselves now. So it would be hard to be too snotty in that profession.

There are no good words for the midsection of a human being. "Stomach" is a gross word. Don't even get me started on "tummy." How old are we again? And "abdomen" is just too clinical. ("I love it when you kiss my....abdomen." No, it doesn't work.) "Belly"? Itís better than the rest but not quite there. Iím going to go look up how to say "stomach" in other languages and maybe one of them will satisfy me.

Check out It is to laugh. One of my favorites is whoever was searching for "tits of yesteryear."

Ah, the tits of yesteryear!

---mimi smartypants


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