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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04


2000-10-20 ... 17:37:12

A recent CDC report we're publishing has 15 people reporting gastroenteritis after playing in an "interactive fountain." I'm scared.

What is an "interactive fountain"? I hope to god itís not a fancy name for "urinal." Probably not.

The hardest job in the WWF (yes, I'm back on that again: it's a strange fascination) has got to be that of referees. They have to do the most acting, because they have to wave their arms and look upset that someone is flounting the "rules," and make all sorts of "you canít do that!" faces, while, in fact, letting the wrestlers do exactly that. They have to act and act and act their little referee hearts out and no one is even paying attention to them. OK no more talking about that, I'm getting sad.

Real sports: there's some football player (Minnesota Vikings, methinks) named Robert Smith and I keep imagining the Cure singer, with all the eyeliner, trying to get the helmet on over his giant hair.

I did something very very goofy with my hair this morning...it's gotten me some strange looks from coworkers. It's kind of a chaos hairdo, with some homage to string theory (in the form of rubber bands and hair ties). I call it "The Origins of the Universe."

How To Know When You Should Probably Stop Trying to Have a Serious Philosophical, Political, or Literary Conversation With Someone and Take Your Acquaintanceship Back To The Level of Chatting About the Weather:

When all you can think of to say in response to the points he/she is making is, "You don't really believe that, do you?"

Don't say it. They get offended. Just THINK it, and then do the above level-reducing.

This has been a public service message.

In a mere 2 hours Iím going drinking with coworkers, some of whom I donít know terribly well. Itís always an interesting moment (a "tipping point," if you will) (hee hee! Iím so pop psychology!) when I get a little tipsy and sort of let my true personality slither out. Hopefully these folks will take it well.

Awesome moment yesterday. LT has a client for whom he has to wear suit and tie and the whole shebang. He had a bad day yesterday, and when he got home I was in another part of the house and yelled hello. He said, "Just a minute, dollface" and when I went into the kitchen, he was loosening his tie with one hand and mixing himself a Manhattan! It was so cinematic!

If only I had been wearing high heels. And an apron. On second thought, I don't own high heels. Or an apron. Never mind.

I just realized, now, with my headphones on, that the lyrics to this certain Siouxsie and the Banshees song are not, in fact "oh your seal teeth lighten up." And I've been singing along for years.

mistakenly,

---mimi smartypants

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