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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04


2009-07-01 ... 2:56 p.m.

THAT'S SOME MIGHTY FINE DOCTORING

Last week, LT hit a bump and went over the handlebars of his bike, and damn that human reflex that makes us throw our hands out when falling, because he hurt his wrist quite badly. After a week spent in some crappy Walgreen's brace, he went to urgent care for x-rays and they said whoa, there's a huge chip out of your bone here. He got a referral to an orthopedist, and I was imagining pins and surgery and all kinds of icky stuff.

The orthopedist's office took its own x-rays, and said that really the wrist is just badly sprained. And also that the "chip" identified by urgent care is an actual part of the normal wrist. Which makes me wonder about the radiology department at Swedish Covenant. Are they routinely telling people that their livers are huge tumors? Do they look at head x-rays and say OMG you have these two weird symmetrical holes in the front of your face?

I STAYED OUT OF THEIR WAY

Today I went to Sephora for more foundation primer, which I usually wear all by itself and not under foundation (please don't tell anyone I’m doing it wrong). I shared the store with about six young women from Saudi Arabia (overheard the cashier’s question and their answer). They were not all hijab’d up but just in Chanel headscarves and expensive jeans, and they were buying the SHIT out of Sephora. Each one had a shopping basket literally heaped with various forms of face spackle. Which is kind of weird because there are Sephoras all over the Gulf states, but maybe makeup is really expensive there. I know everything else is, which is why I always begged my mom to send me reading material and peanut butter.

STUFF WITH A SIDE OF THINGS

1. Why do some “urban youth” wear their visors upside down and backwards? It looks like they are trying to create a portable rain barrel on top of their heads. Oh those eco-conscious urban youth!

2. I saw an ad for vodka flavored with that stupid scam-o-rama, shows-up-in-every-ad-sidebar, never-heard-of-it-before fruit, acai berry. Since the outlandish claim is that acai berry burns fat or controls metabolism or some equally improbable thing, vodka with acai berry seems perfect for the drunkorexic in your life. Bonus points if she drinks too much and throws it up.

3. I have been wanting to read Little Bee because just about every review is positive. The other day I was picking up my “on hold” items at the library and happened to see it on the shelf. Sweet! But I decided to take a closer look in person, just to make sure the book still seemed worth the extra weight in my bag, and I read the jacket copy, and then I got so angry I wanted to punch someone. Here it is:

We don't want to tell you too much about this book. It is a truly special story and we don't want to spoil it. Nevertheless, you need to know something, so we will just say this: This is the story of two women. Their lives collide one fateful day, and one of them has to make a terrible choice. Two years later, they meet again. The story starts there. Once you have read it you'll want to tell everyone about it. When you do, please don't tell them what happens. The magic is in how it unfolds.

WELL HOW ANNOYING. THANKS, NOW I DON’T WANT TO READ IT AT ALL.

---mimi smartypants so contrary.

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