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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-06-29 ... 10:10 a.m.

Today is my half birthday. I am halfway to the next age. Do I get half a cake? Can I have half a beer? Will someone treat me to dinner but really pick up only half the check?

Most of the time I just feel like myself, but sometimes I like to pretend to bitch and moan about how I feel old. I like to tell my sister (who's younger) tales like this: I remember making popcorn ON THE STOVE. I remember having a ROTARY-DIAL PHONE and that the area code, even in the suburbs, was 312. I remember BUYING TAPES and thinking that Screeching Weasel was a good band. I remember wearing petticoats and combat boots and thrift store tuxedo jackets and fingerless gloves and black lipstick, all at the same time.

My sister is very good at faking being impressed.

Note to self: "barbarian" is indeed a good insult, but so is "oaf." Must remember to call someone an oaf. Only if he or she really deserves it, of course.

Time to do some work. I've been doing a lot of grammar and style research lately, and I came across an old grammar book where the majority of example sentences had to do with cheese. I liked that.

And here's a quote for you: as if we didn't already know that this guy was secretly cool.

"[I did 'Letterman'] because I was promised a canned ham, but I'm still waiting for it ... I've been a fan for a long time. I think that it's a rite of passage for a candidate to appear on his show. That and the canned ham were the two reasons why I went on. I would like to say, for a second time, that I am still waiting for it."

-- Former Veep Al Gore on why he agreed to appear on David Letterman's "Late Show" during the presidential campaign, in TV Guide.

Someone sent that to me. I didn't want anyone to think that I read TV Guide (I know, I'm a snob).

---mimi smartypants


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