the latest
waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04
I'm kind of a mess right now. (This entry might be the same way.) This morning I completely wiped out on some black ice. Practically first thing after I step out of the house, I'm taking a terrific spill onto the icy alley. My entire right side is stiff and bruised, I involuntarily yelled some choice obscenities in front of a passing rabbi (hey, I was in a lot of pain, okay?), and I think I wrenched my neck or something in the fall, even though I didn't land on my neck, so that�s mysterious. Yay. There may be a heating pad/hot bath/ibuprofen dosage in tonight's future. Either that or a six-pack and a monster movie, another good recipe for back pain relief. Trust me on that one. On the bright side, today is a Good Hair Day. Once in a while it just dries all nice and straight and shiny with no weird bends or bits sticking out. So I'm (slightly) glad that I'm at work, since Good Hair Days often have a nasty habit of showing up only on Sunday afternoons or other times in which no one is around to notice. I really want to stuff inappropriate items into the fax machine. Like a turkey sandwich, for example. Do you think that would get me fired? There was an e-mail today stating that we lucky, lucky employees are entitled to discount tickets to "Disney�s Jungle Adventure on Ice." Wow. What amazing perks I get working here, I'm just all choked up. I was unaware that such an entertainment monstrosity as "Disney's Jungle Adventure on Ice" existed, and I would also like to point out that it's climactically impossible to have a Jungle Adventure on Ice, as the ice would melt. The jungle is really the proper place to have a Jungle Adventure. I don't want to have a Jungle Adventure. Tonight I plan to have a Sitting on the Couch Adventure. Considering that I don't seem to be able to walk out of the house without falling down, that might be enough adventure for me. ---mimi smartypants
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