Back to Diaryland the latest waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04	2008-07-08 ... 10:06 a.m. TONIGHT ON STAGE My husband is very fond of deodorant. Fond to a semi-annoying degree, in fact, but I try not to be annoyed by it because there are definitely worse problems to have. Waaaah, poor me, my spouse smells too fresh and clean. It is a little unnerving when he seems to come home from every Target with new deodorant sticks, and when I find a bathroom drawer full of unopened ones (why are we stockpiling deodorant?), and when he gets a panicky look during an overnight trip when it is discovered that he has forgotten to pack one of the eight million sticks of deodorant we have in the house. Of course this necessitates a drugstore run, even after I offer him the use of my Secret Platinum, in a nice neutral scent like "Shower Fresh." Even after I swear that his penis will not fall off from using a girl-marketed deodorant. Sigh. Make that eight million and one sticks of deodorant. Long story short, LT is a manly man who smells like a man. Which is why I was confused when I noticed that the scent name of his latest deodorant is "Showtime." Could it get any gayer? Why not just name it "Jazz Hands" or "Mojito" or "First-Row Seats At Madonna Concert"? Showtime for armpits! Whatever. WHAT NORA DID WITH HER HOLIDAY WEEKEND 1. Visited my office and played video games while I crunched end-of-quarter numbers. 2. Rode a bike for fourteen miles. It was the trail-a-bike, so it's not like she had to pedal her own weight the entire time, but still. 3. Started learning her first kata for karate. 4. Attended a birthday party dressed as Darth Vader. It had a Star Wars theme and was costume-optional. Except there is no way Nora is not going to dress as Darth Vader when the opportunity presents itself. We have a hard enough time trying to convince her not to wear the costume to places like Home Depot. (I don't really care if the Sith Lord wants to go on errands, but LT gets tired of the attention. Plus it is hard to buckle the booster seat straps around Vader's chest panel and stuff.) 5. Washed our car in my mom's driveway. Thanks Nora! 6. Caught a toad. It took her nearly all damn day, but she was very patient and extremely excited to catch it. We watched it scramble around in a bucket for a time, then let it go. EARLY WARNING There is no online hype about this yet but I should mention that I will be reading at yet another Funny Ha-Ha at the Hideout on July 30. I suspect I will be more like funny-peculiar, especially given that I will be just barely back from vacation (Michigan lake house). Thus: sun-addled, discombobulated, possibly in alcohol withdrawal (my mother has laid in a case of wine "as a start" for this one-week family lake thing). Nonetheless, I am always game for making an ass of myself on stage, so come visit if you can. ---mimi smartypants would like you to sign this waiver first. back/forward