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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-07-25 ... 4:06 p.m.

Drinking tea. (If only it were a beer.) All alone at my desk. (If only I were curled up in a booth at a dive bar with you.) (Yes, you.) Worrying about tomorrow's business trip to Pittsburgh. (If only I were flying away somewhere more interesting, like Florence. Or a remote but perfectly safe, well-appointed, and temperate island. Or my favorite moon of Jupiter.) I am not clear on precisely what is expected of me on this business trip to Pittsburgh. I know I have to attend meetings and make arrangements and meet people. Let us hope (1, 2, 3, HOPE!) that it all becomes clear when I get there.

Noteworthy fashion thing about today: I was seriously into comfort this morning so I basically wore black pyjamas to work. I am the Editorial Ninja. I have secret punctuation training, fancy narrative strategies, and I can kill you with a single preposition. Or indeed any part of speech.

It's the end of the month, and I've been feeling a little cranky and concerned about one of my least favorite subjects, money. I am currently carrying some credit card debt, which is not a normal thing for me. Not a lot of credit card debt, certainly not by big fat American I WANT THIS UNNECESSARY CRAP RIGHT NOW! standards, but still, knowing that I have this balance on my credit card makes me feel weird. The credit card debt sort of happened suddenly, since LT and I went to London earlier this month (a very expensive city), and bought a piece of much-needed furniture, and ate out a lot because both of our schedules were so insanely hectic that sitting down in a restaurant sometimes seemed like the only way to get any face time. There is no incredibly serious cash crisis, and I'm sure I am making too much of this because, as I said before, I am a little bit Amish on the inside. (Why don't I work in advertising? For instance: YUM! It's crunchy on the outside and Amish on the inside!) (Hmmm, maybe that's why.)

Uh. This had a point, originally.

Okay, so. I have been thinking of stupid little ways to economize while I work at getting rid of this credit card debt, and I was OVERJOYED today to think of one of which I had not previously thought. (See how dumb things start to sound as you labor not to end a sentence with a preposition? That rule is so outdated but it's like a reflex. I need counseling to overcome this.) For some reason, I have a credit balance, to the tune of around $150, on my Nordstrom card. The only reason I even have a Nordstrom card is because their black tights kick ass, and because they offered me some sort of 30% off deal for opening the card when I was (a) feeling weak and vulnerable and (b) buying something expensive like a grown-up suit. Anyway, Nordstrom also has a really good, if overpriced, restaurant inside it. Lots of times I bring my lunch to work but hey, why not eat the really good (if overpriced) salad or hummus-and-roasted-vegetable sandwich from Nordstrom FOR FREAKING FREE?

I realize this is not like a major financial breakthrough, and I'm not about to get my own "Thrifty Living" television show or newspaper column or anything, but it made me smile because instead of feeling listless at the thought of yet another dehydrated soup cup or peanut butter sandwich, or feeling slightly guilty at the prospect of going out for lunch here in the yuppified expensive River North area, or feeling low-blood-sugar unconscious as a result of attempting to skip lunch altogether, I can use my Nordstrom card for the occasional free lunch and feel all smug about it. Since I am more about food than shopping anyway.

Thus concludeth my dumbshit saga.


HELP. I do not understand why Humpty Dumpty is always depicted as a sort of anthropomorphic egg. Especially not if this story of the rhyme's origins is true. I know that Humpty Dumpty was an egg in Alice in Wonderland, but why? Is it just a random image, because Lewis Carroll was enjoying the hashish and magic mushrooms (and the little girls)? Unusually for this normally excellent site, The Straight Dope is no help whatsoever. Damn it, I want footnotes.

I love these ads. IS THERE PORNOGRAPHY ON YOUR COMPUTER? Yes. It's in a file labeled "Porn." (As an aside, I feel very strongly that the preferred abbreviation for pornography should be "porn." "Porno" just sounds childish, and has a giggling-behind-the-hand quality. Let's have some dignity here. A solemn, serious, monosyllable with a nice liquid consonant at the end is clearly the way to go.)



Monkey Man is back! Monkey Man! Monkey Man! Does everything a monkey can! And lots more! I mean, when was the last time you saw a monkey "jump and sparkle red and blue lights"?

Crab ice cream is 100% not kosher. (Click through them all for crab and a whole lot more.)

Wave bye-bye as I fly to Pittsburgh: City of Lights! City of Magic! Well, City of Something, anyway.

---mimi smartypants chewed the feet off her Barbie.


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