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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2008-04-16 ... 8:55 p.m.


This week has included entirely too much running around and socializing, including a dinner with the parents of Nora's best friend. They have a downstairs playroom and whatever Star Wars-based scenario was happening down there was quiet and conflict-free.* So much so, in fact, that I gave the children very little thought, choosing instead to focus on wine, and all of a sudden it was almost eleven o'clock at night. The mysterious calculus of Nora's internal clock means that three hours past bedtime = thirty minutes extra sleep the next morning, so that was just delightful. Wait, put some irony quotes around "delightful." Ah. There we go.

*Excluding "happy conflict," of course. I did check on Nora and friend once, and they were wrestling like puppies. Nora was completely pinned by Peter, who has about ten pounds on her, and all the while she kept screaming, "I'm winning! I'm winning! I'm stronger than you!" Uh, really?

We also did the taxes and we have to PAY, and the accountant mentioned that there is a lovely silver lining because it means that LT's business made a lot more money than expected in 2007. Which is funny, since I don't recall feeling/being particularly rich in 2007. I was all panicky about the logistics of making this payment, since it involves a stupid amount of money and I just do not seem to have that much in the bank account, and LT calmly said that he could cover it with "business money." Is he a database programmer or actually in the Mafia? Sometimes I wonder.


This is pretty much the worst article about international adoption I have ever read. I can hardly believe that it was published, and I can find fault with nearly every sentence. If I were forced to choose just one terrible part, I think I would choose the part where the adoptive mother says that the children in her daughter's school were "very accepting." Very accepting? Of what? Do they "accept" the fact that she's Asian? Wow, thanks! Give the white people a smiley sticker! Sorry, no one gets to "accept" or "reject" the very existence of another person.

And of course, right after that comment about how everyone is so lovely and accepting is the story of the kid being teased for having "different" eyes, and the mom turning around and explaining "your eyes aren't different." Lesson: when your transracial adoptee tells you she's had a racist experience, make sure you deny, deny, deny!

A close runner-up to the above horror has to be the last paragraph. After all this talk about how beautiful and wonderful Chinese "culture" is:

They know why they were adopted and it's important to take them back to China so they have an idea of what their life would be like if they were still there, she said. "I think she (Megan) knows how much better her life is here than back in China," Cox said. "She's a very bright kid."

Honey, we want you to be proud of your heritage. Always remember where you came from: a horrible backwards shithole.



Another internet-related thing that drives me bugfuck is a messageboard that I visit occasionally with this on their log-in page:

Log into the website to access the features of the website.

Okay. Stand still for the beating to access the features of a concussion.


Recently I met a woman at a rock show and for some reason she started talking about going to see The Vagina Monologues. There are no words to describe how I feel about The Vagina Monologues. Well, there is the word why and the word god and then maybe some more whys, combined with a lot of rolling around on the floor and sobbing. But otherwise, I have no coherent comment on said monologues, plus I was sort of buzzed at the time, which was another reason why I had nothing to contribute to her own, non-vagina-related, monologue. I think I mumbled something about that not being precisely my sort of theater, and she had a weird desperation to agree with me so she switched tracks and started to diss The Vagina Monologues, and at that point I just needed to get out of there. It may have been rude, but them's the breaks. So I extricated myself as deftly as possible and as I turned to head back to the bar I heard her say, "...not that I don't love the arts!" I don't know why but that has been cracking me up for days now. I will use it every time I criticize a cultural product. Your novel was shit! Not that I don't love the arts!


Dave Eggers has lost a lot of points with me but it is possible that he will make them all back by writing What Is The What. I am not finished yet but it is compelling and compassionate and plainly told, and that is more than I expected going in. Good show, Dave.

Speaking of books, I want to french-kiss the Chicago Public Library for FINALLY implementing an online reservation system. You are only allowed to put five books on hold at a time, but still: I sit in front of my screen and say I want to read this, this, and this (and this and this), and then THEY run around town picking it up from all the various branches? HOT DAMN. I feel like the Queen of Literature and the stack grows ever taller. In fact, I had better go read right now.

---mimi smartypants left bitemarks on your piano.


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