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good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-12-19 ... 3:47 p.m.

Hello all. Microwave ovens are designed to cook food and NOT for scientific experiments. I thought you might need reminding.

I remember getting our first microwave and nuking one marshmallow after another...marshmallows are mostly air so they puff up to an impressive size before collapsing into goo. It's a fact.

Technology and me have a funny history. In some ways I'm such an analog girl: I made my high-school zine the old-fashioned way, with scissors and xerox machine, I collect LPs (although that can be as much for the cover art as for the music) and Super-8 movie cameras, and I even stick in all these stupid links by hand (although, obviously, there's a lot of welcome automation to Diaryland). That said, I was thinking recently about a few key gadgets, doo-dads, and luxuries that, barring financial catastrophe or a sudden philosophical Unabomber-like change of heart, I no longer want to live without.

1. The dishwasher. I have never, until now, lived in a house with a dishwasher. This has probably been a good thing for me psychologically, as the very few times my father has spoken more than a few sentences in a row directly to me have been over sinkfulls of soapy water. Nonetheless, the dishwasher is so goddamn beautiful that sometimes I want to cry. LT and I used to put off washing dishes until we literally had no more dishes, because apartment sinks are so small and awkward. But now the wonderous machine takes care of it all! I have heard that some people complain about loading and unloading the dishwasher. Please tell these spoiled brats to shut up. This machine is washing the dishes FOR you. Can't you get that through your heads?

2. The cable modem. I'm a bit less enthusiastic than I used to be, ever since the AT&T/Excite problem when we were without service for a few days; but still, without a fast connection I don't even really see the point of having a computer. (Yeah, I know. I'm exaggerating to make a point, okay?)

2a. Related to this I'd just like to give a little shout-out to Google, which I probably visit a skillion times a day. Best. Web page. Ever. They do one thing and they do it well. Props to Google.

3. As we all remember, I'm newly devoted to TiVo, because television in real time = bad and a waste of time but having TiVo automatically record any Marx Brothers movies or programs about black holes (a minor obsession of mine) and save them for you to watch when the mood strikes = good. Oh, and nonsensical run-on sentences = good, as well.

Funny thing that happened today: my friend Mike works in an office where there is a lot of forced fun, ie, mandatory holiday parties and cubicle-decorating contests and cookie swaps and other crap. He's fairly new on the job, and today we were having this conversation over lunch:

Mike: At first I thought they were they were just really festive, and now it turns out it's like a holiday gulag and the whole thing is fake. My innocence is lost.

Mimi: Well, maybe the festivity is real by now. After a while one internalizes one's own oppression.

This led to a rather in-depth discussion of Stockholm syndrome, and at one point Mike accidentally said "Stockhausen syndrome," which totally cracked us up (I think I may have inhaled a Pad Thai noodle) as we tried to imagine the salient features and symptoms of Stockhausen syndrome, such as being compelled to run up and down 12-step staircases, or always letting the waiter (or better yet, the chef) order for you, and many more. Anyone else who gives a fuck is welcome to join in on this joke, but I suspect it is funny only to me. Stockhausen syndrome. Hee hee.


---mimi smartypants


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