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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2000-11-29 ... 16:43:05

Sleater-Kinney's Call the Doctor comes in at 29 minutes and 59 seconds. What, they couldn't maybe hold the ending note 1 second longer? I would never have allowed such an untidy length were I in charge.

Of course, that's probably the whole reason I'm not in charge, right there. Too much need for precision, exactness, symmetry, compulsiveness.

Last night LT and I had sort of a joke dinner. I had been wanting to try this recipe for vegetarian sloppy joes, mostly as a means for testing the tastiness of those soy-based "Recipe Crumbles" things that are supposed to take the place of ground beef. Normally I don't go in so much for the meat analogs (I mean, if you want meat so bad, why be vegetarian?) but I was intrigued by this product, so I bought some. Anyway, we're joking around about making sloppy joes and what a weird junior-high-cafeteria meal we're planning to have, and I thought, Why not go all the way with this? So I went to the store and bought Tater Tots. [Vegetarian] sloppy joes and Tater Tots, yes indeed. The only thing that would make it more complete is to serve it while wearing a hairnet.

I was putting the Tater Tots (god, typing that asinine phrase is starting to bug me) on a baking sheet, as the instructions instruct, and it suddenly dawned on me that I didn't need to place them one by one in nice neat rows. For some reason I had been carefully trying to line them up like little Tater Tot soldiers. What the fuck is wrong with me? I thought, and upended the bag over the baking sheet.

There's a window-washer way up in the air at the hotel next door, washing the "o" in "Hilton." I hope the "o" appreciates it. It must get lonely being the "o" in "Hilton." If I could be any letter in the city, I think I would want to be the "g" in "Walgreen’s." Or maybe the apostrophe. Or maybe I could be the neon martini glass on the Saxony Liquors Lounge sign, at Lawrence and Broadway.

---mimi smartypants


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