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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-11-28 ... 2:14 p.m.

It doesn't seem fair that humans are made up of mostly water and yet we can't puddle under doors or pour ourselves into containers. My present state of mind feels much more suited to a bucket than this task chair.

Our symphony outing was nice. I couldn't help noticing that the violin soloist was the only male performer not in a tux: perhaps he wanted to stand out from the crowd, or perhaps he liked the Russian gangster effect he had going by being a rotund heavy-browed guy in a dark suit. His extended cadenza on the Shostakovich kicked some serious ass, though, so I have no complaints about the way he dressed. We had some time to kill before the performance, and wandered into the Chicago Architecture Society store, where LT found a interior decorating DIY book that included plans for making a tiki bar. We'll have to be careful with this, since I don't think homeowner's insurance will pay up if we set our house ablaze concocting Flaming Scorpion Bowls.

So I tried a new yoga tape recently, because I just can't seem to make it to class. My yoga studio's classes uniformly start at 6 pm or later, and since I'm kind of wedded to my start-early-leave-early work schedule, that doesn't work for me. (I like to get into the office at around 7:30 am. It's not so much that I'm a morning person as the fact that I get a lot done when it's quiet, before everyone else comes in, and that it totally rocks to be able to leave (most days) at around 4. Besides, let's face it, unless you get to wake up naturally, with no alarm, it doesn't count as "sleeping in." So the difference between a 6 am alarm and a 8 am alarm is negligible to me.)

Um. Ah yes, yoga. So that yoga studio has become inconvenient, although I liked the teachers. They have yoga classes at my gym, too, but the instructors there are weird and competitive and don't really seem to know what they're doing. So I've been grooving on this particular yoga tape, although at one point, during the relaxation sequence at the end, Patricia Walden is sort of moving up the body, saying relax this and relax that, and at one point she says soothingly, "Soften your brain..." at which point I always crack up. Soften your brain. No thank you.

Okay, Pot Noodle is pretty good and all, at least as good as a prepackaged MSG-laced noodlefest can get. But I really don't understand what they are getting at with their site. Pot Noodle as cult? In other food websites, Plochmans is seriously reaching to make their timeline even remotely mustard-related. (Vicent Van Gogh's art is affordable only to a few. But Plochman's mustard artistry is available to all!) In other cult websites, a friend pointed me toward this bunch of loonies and I laughed and laughed and laughed. I'm still laughing. My favorite part: "Perhaps you, too, attended Uranus University and have integrated the lessons of the Sasquatch."

Why, perhaps I did! In're right! Here's my old shot glass and sweatshirt from Uranus U! How about that!

Now go forth, readers, and integrate the lessons of the Sasquatch. (I am so totally going to use that as a euphenism for something. "Sorry I didn't call you back, dude...I was, you know, integrating the lessons of the Sasquatch.")

---mimi smartypants has a PhD from Uranus.


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