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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2008-11-03 ... 3:38 p.m.


LT was out Saturday night so I had a little marathon of wine and snacks and being a lazy bum with lots and lots of TiVo-recorded crap, including an episode of The Shield, which I find increasingly hard to like and yet cannot stop watching. There is just something about an amoral baldheaded midget in a leather jacket, I guess. So I was watching this, and a character said something about bukkake. What? I rewound that bit about five times to make sure I had heard correctly. Yes, I had. Oh FX channel you are so darned EDGY.

Honestly, though, I was somewhat shocked at the gratuitous reference. I mean, if you want to treat the subject of bukkake with the sensitivity, seriousness, and respect it deserves, like with an afterschool special or public service announcement (Bukkake: The More You Know), or even a special two-hour episode of Frontline, that would be one thing. But a throwaway line for cheap shock value? For shame.

(Okay, joking aside, I actually was a little shocked. This is not HBO! Fetish porn references are now mainstream!)


1. Anyone with more than one child, especially if it's a toddler/preschooler combination, would do well to check out Amanda Pig And Her Big Brother Oliver, one of many titles in the series about these pigs. Nora has no siblings, but we both laughed at the stories of being bothered by a smaller sister, and I thought they were sensitively told, with little nonintrusive lessons about bossiness and independence.

2. It is an old British book and not widely available here but we also liked Mog the Forgetful Cat. The illustrator really knows how to portray the essential dorkiness of cats, if you ask me. Nora also liked it because there was a burglar. What is with all the burglars in British picture books?

3. We are racing through The Cricket in Times Square as a read-aloud and it is going great. Nice short chapters so you can often say yes to "just one more." You can tell that it was different times in 1960 because Selden wrote the Chinatown scenes in excruciating ching-chong dialect, but I just read it straight and no one is the wiser.

4. Otherwise, Nora the Factual is still all about non-fiction. Her favorite topics include dinosaurs, the digestive system, prehistoric sharks, rocks (FUCK ME WHAT COULD BE MORE BORING), and ancient Egypt. The Egypt stuff sounds like fun until you read a whole book about it and realize that you are basically talking about corpses and graves and organ extraction right before bedtime. Not that she cares, really.


Today I feel a strong urge toward narrative cohesion and would somehow like to tie the above two topics together. Bukkake and children's books. All sorts of inappropriate titles are running through my head, most involving the words "splish splash." Cloudy With A Chance Of Man Juice? No, it will never work. I should be in jail, truly. I should not be allowed near a keyboard.

---mimi smartypants is very sorry.


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