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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-11-01 ... 11:54 a.m.

Today's topic is: The Body

RESPIRATORY: I'm sick. Not as sick as when I lost my voice, but sick nonetheless. I have a lovely sore throat and had to take Nyquil and go to bed at 9 pm last night like a little kid. Do little kids still drink Nyquil before bed? Ah, to be young again. (What? Why are you looking at me like that?)

Ordinarily a sore throat is nothing to worry about, but I've been all skittish ever since that silent episode last summer. And the divine Miss P. will be my out-of-town visitor this weekend, so I need to be able to spend time in smoky bars and talk too much.

LIMBS: Is it possible for one's feet to shrink? My shoes are all of a sudden very loose today, and there's nothing different about my socks, and I've had these same Doc Marten oxfords forever and wear them just about every damn day, so it would be odd if the leather chose this very moment to stretch.

LIPS: Supremely kissable with a new lipstick that I once again bought based on the name: "Catwalk." It's sort of a clotted-blood color.

GENITALIA, REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM: [Barry White voice on] Heh, heh. Ohhhhh yeah.[Barry White voice off]

NERVOUS SYSTEM: Have you heard that the anthrax has now made it to Indianapolis? Which is somewhat close to Chicago? Hooray! We’re all going to die.

SHORT-TERM MEMORY: Didn't do anything special for Halloween, because of the sickness. We only got one minor group of trick-or-treaters, so if anyone wants to come over to my house for a dinner of Kit-Kat miniatures and Sweetarts, be my guest.

DREAMS, VISIONS, SUGARPLUM FAIRIES, THE UNCONSCIOUS, THE ID, FANCIFUL IMAGININGS: Perhaps it was the Nyquil, but I had some very strange dreams last night. Some were about trying to splice audiotape of Frank Sinatra songs into the middle of other songs: this was with someone else's tape collection, and we were trying to do it furtively, while the host was in the bathroom. Some were about being a professional badminton player and having sex with my coach in a booth at Denny's. And I even had a boring-ass dream that some web pages I look at frequently had been redesigned. Can I please not dream about web design? That's almost as bad as dreaming about work. (Speaking of web design: I thought this was funny.)

GASTROINTESTINAL SYSTEM: Wondering what to have for lunch. Hungry and yet nothing really appeals.

HEART: I have a very nice husband, who makes me tea with lemon and bourbon when I'm sick. Mmmm, bourbon.

GUMPTION: Severely lacking. Perhaps I'll stop for now.

---mimi smartypants


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