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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2000-10-24 ... 12:35:21

No news story can mention Bahrain without mentioning its size. It's always "the tiny Gulf emirate of Bahrain." Yes, I know. I used to live there. You can drive across the country in about a half an hour.

Still, it must get on Bahrainis' nerves, if indeed they care a fig how they are presented in the American news media, which I'm not sure they do. What if someone pointed out one of your physical attributes every time they spoke of you? Maybe this is what it's like for people who have really common names. Unless you want to use last names every time, I'm sure they get a lot of "brown-haired John" or "tall John" or "John with the glasses."

Warning: this next has nothing to do with anything.

A lot of alphabet letters sound alike. You got your c, d, e, g, p, t, v, and z. You got your f, x, and s. Your m and your n. So when you spell something on the phone for a serviceperson or what have you, you get a lot of "T as in Tom?" "S as in Sam?" "D as in dog?"

I'm starting to write these "clue words" down because it seems to me that a lot of people use the same ones. I've definitely heard the "S as in Sam?" thing more than once, for instance. And it makes me wonder why many people's clue words are the same, and it makes me wonder why I'm doing something so useless as keeping track of this, and it makes me wonder if there's a cultural linguist or someone out there who I could sell this data to.

Anyway, I'm making it my mission to throw a spanner in the works every so often. When somebody asks me "S as in Sam?" I say "No, S as in scrotum" or some equally odd word. You do it too, please. Together we can make this world just ever so slightly more interesting.

Yesterday I had a lot of errands to do after work. During the course of my many errands, I was whistled at/catcalled no fewer than 3 times and once some guy crossed the street to chat me up as I waited for the bus. May I remind you that this is not a usual thing for me. I've been racking my brain for the answer to the riddle of yesterday's sudden visual appeal. I was wearing a skirt, but I was in no way dressed like a hoochie mama. (Even if I did dress like a hoochie mama, it wouldn't be that exciting, believe me you.) Do black tights, gray skirts, and black turtleneck sweaters give off "hey big fella" signals of which I was not aware? It's a mystery. (The other mystery is what makes some men think that their street attention is going to get them anywhere. Has anyone ever gotten laid because of yelling "Nice ass!" on the street?)

I'm desperately trying to think of an excuse to type the words "hoochie mama" again. That was fun. Which means this entry is getting even more gratuitous than it was to start with, which means it's time to go.

---mimi smartypants


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