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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2000-10-03 ... 11:45:44

My arm did not fall off (although it did swell up, so I had a muscle arm for a few hours, not that that's a bad thing) from my travel vaccinations yesterday. Hip hip hooray.

Speaking of injections, our health services here at work is REALLY into this flu shot thing. There are memos, e-mails, and posters: Flu Shots Given Next Week! Have You Gotten Your Flu Shot? and so on. Actually no, thank you very much anyway. I don't really go for voluntary injections unless they contain pure china white. Also, maybe I've watched too much X-Files, but the idea of my EMPLOYER strongly suggesting I get a certain INJECTION just creeps me out a little. If it is an insidious plot, I'll be the only non-pod person here.

After the doctor's yesterday I stopped by Bloomingdales' to pick up some underwear (can't have too much) and I saw a brand of underwear called "Secret Hug." I thought that was a pretty raunchy name for underwear.

OK, now I just thought of something involving underwear. I am the Segue Queen. Saudi Arabian customs officials are pretty darn invasive, and tend to go digging through you luggage looking for porn and alcohol and pork products and so on. When we lived in Bahrain a friend of mine taught me the "panty defense" and take it from me, it works. Just make the top layer of your packing a layer of women's underwear...the poor customs guys will be so freaked out and embarassed (My god, Ahmed, do you know where that's BEEN?) that they will sort of desultorily poke at it with their nightsticks (if they touch it at all) and then wave you through without searching further. See, I'm full of helpful hints. In fact, I'm a lot like Martha Stewart, if Martha Stewart was drunk all the time.

Jesus in a flaming birch-bark canoe, do I have a lot of work to do. Although I really fell mostly like slacking off, cruising the Web with a thermos of gin and tonics and answering the phone, "Yo, party people in the house!"

---mimi mimi mimi smartypants


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