Back to Diaryland

the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-09-24 ... 1:10 p.m.


Sniff. I am that gross kid you wouldn't sit next to at the assembly. Sitting here at the computer surrounded by used kleenex, and even then I am making the occasional vile slurping noise through the two thirds of a nostril that still deserves the title of "airway." No one is around to hear me except The Cat, and since I have caught her snacking on her own vomit before, I don't think her sensibilities are delicate enough to be grossed out by my snotfest. (SNOTFEST 2002! PHLEGMAPALOOZA! WELCOME TO MUCUSLAND!) I think this is just autumnal allergies and not some deadly pestilence, but still, it's very annoying and keeps me from sleeping well. I hate taking allergy medicine because it makes my thoughts all weird (It gets weirder than this. Really.), but today I have to be on a conference call for much of the afternoon, so I think swallowing some Claritin will be an imperative lest I scare everyone else with my froggy adenoidal Jonathan Richman voice.



Obviously I am not looking forward to this conference call. I hate them. I think there's only one small portion that is really relevant to my life, so hopefully at some point I can excuse myself and hang the heck up. Or else I will just press the "hold" button once my bit is over and treat the other participants to an hour's worth of soporific harpsichord classics.

Yesterday I went to the library and here is what I scored:

The Corrections (How can I not have read this yet? Kind of embarrassing for a Hot Literary Fiction Slut like me.)

Requiem (Ehh. I don't know.)

The Rotter's Club (I'm fairly sure this won't be fabulous, but it might be fun.)

Night of Stone (Cheerful!)

I struggled home with all my treasures (the Chicago Public Library has simply got to start offering a delivery service, for us puny-armed people who routinely check out too many books). LT made dinner for me. Then I toyed with the idea of going to dance around to The Watchers at Empty Bottle...not so much for The Watchers as for Gogo Airheart, whom I had seen at Fireside Bowl back in July and much enjoyed. Oddly, the few recorded tracks I've heard from them failed to wow me, but the live show was something else entirely. (Click here for some occasionally amusing overblown rock journalism about Gogo Airheart.) But then The River Of Snot started to flow, and I remembered that I had to be at work early in the morning to actually get some work done before the stupid conference call, and thus beer + a rock show on a weeknight started to sound like a crummy idea. Adulthood sucks. Well, it has its good points, like no worries about where you keep your porn and your drugs, disposable income, and no homework or forced church attendance. But there's also that whole responsibility thing, and that sucks. No rock show for me. I watched the TiVo'd Sopranos and blew my nose instead.


1. Reading the phrase "pyramid of shrimp" in The Corrections.

2. The Wesley Willis journal. (via him)

3. LT was reading The Economist and I did a crazy little dance to get his attention and cracked myself up.

4. Watching a Spongebob re-run YET AGAIN when he's going to work and saying "Go Spongebob! Go Spongebob! Go self!" It makes me laugh every time.

5. When I overheard a conversation between two of those tough-looking Puerto Rican teenage girls (I know they were Puerto Rican because they mentioned it several times, in the context of other "bitches" who were not Puerto Rican but Mexican...seems there may be some bad blood there in this particular demographic) about a teacher of theirs who was a "total lesbian." They must have said the word "lesbian" about fifty million times and there is very little that is more wonderful than the word "lesbian" said in a Chicago-fied Latina accent, by a group of loudmouthed girls with the ponytails on the tops of their heads and that really dark lipliner and the gold name necklaces. I was enthralled, and a little weirded out, because this is the SECOND conversation I have overheard, among this particular type of teenager, that dealt with lesbians they have known. The first was last year, and the topic was the "fact" that going to an all-girls private school turned you into a lesbian.


Various shoe-related projects.

Listen to Dorothy Parker.

Beastie Boys vs. My Bloody Valentine mix. It's totally weird and not quite kosher.


1. The Sun-Times Weather Word (you haven't heard me talk about this for a while, it has lost much of its glamour) for today is EYE-POPPING.

2. I was recently mailed the latest brochure for the 2002-2003 Chicago Symphony Orchestra season. One of the adjectives they use on the front cover to describe the season's offerings is HEART-STOPPING. Given the age of the average symphony patron, I would think they'd want to avoid such implications.

3. Kluver-Bucy syndrome. "A classic example is of the unfortunate chap arrested whilst attempting to have sex with the pavement."


The meaning of "dirty Sanchez." No, I won't put a link there. You'll never learn unless you look it up on your own.


There are some people who I would like to have met earlier in my life. For some of them that's because I think we would have been friends at all stages of our lives, and because I am greedy for affection and shared experience and I want extra memories. And there are some people who I would like to have met earlier in my life, because I know crappy things happened to them and I like to think I could have prevented those things from happening. I would like to go back in time and kick the ass of everyone who ever pushed you around or yelled at you or made you feel bad. That is bullshit and I wouldn't have stood for it.

---mimi smartypants takes a hard line.


join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
Powered by