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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-09-10 ... 9:43 a.m.

The new editor I hired starts today. She seemed non-insane in the interview, and is certainly competent, and I hope she does well. The only annoying thing is that she has the same common first name as someone who already works for me. This could cause problems and confusion: however, part of the hazing ritual involved when you come onto my staff is a humiliating nickname, as well as getting certain vital editorial style manual rules tattooed on your ass, so I guess that's problem solved right there.

Since I'm new to the whole "being a boss" thing, I get a lot of junk mail about seminars and effectiveness training and all that crap, where for the low price of a couple of hundred dollars you can be bored to tears in some hotel ballroom and watch a PowerPoint presentation (complete with PRINTOUTS of every slide...hello, I can READ, thank you very much) and listen to hours of tired business-speak neologisms from two years ago and enjoy really crappy coffee. Gosh, Mimi, tell us how you really feel. Where was I? Oh. I got one of these flyers in my in-box the other day that said "DISCOVER YOUR MANAGEMENT STYLE." It made me wonder what good it would do you to "discover" your management style. If you "discovered" that it sucked, you would need a second seminar on how to improve it. If you "discovered" that everything was a-okay, then you just wasted a whole day and a bunch o' money. (But maybe it was the company's money, and maybe you met a cute workshop participant and ended up making out in one of the adjacent meeting rooms, in which case nothing was wasted.)

Personally, I have decided to model my own management style after that of Mr Spacely, the boss from the Jetsons. I've been practicing roaring out my employees' last names, acting really irritated, and being short.

All this work talk. All this work. Friday I worked a 12-hour day, more or less, neglected to eat anything of significance, and then thought I could go out and have four quick beers with colleagues. Not quite. I didn't embarrass myself (unless you count the public admission of a fondness for Fleetwood Mac embarrassing myself) but I did wisely make an abrupt departure at around 10 pm before I could make any more mortifying musical revelations, smoke any more Marlboro Reds, or talk more shit about members of upper management. I caught a cab home and had a gardenburger in front of the television with LT, while watching a nature program called Rhino! Did you know that the rhinoceros has the longest sexual staying power of any large mammal? They do it for 20-30 minutes at a time. That's not like a marathon or anything, but it's pretty impressive for the animal world. Go rhino! Get busy! Oh yeah!

----mimi smartypants, Rhino Queen


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