Back to Diaryland

the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-08-21 ... 9:58 a.m.

Did you know that some women can just walk around outside, in public, wearing shorts? They can go to restaurants and bars and attend outdoor functions, with their long, tanned legs just sticking out for all to see. These women are not made uncomfortable by limb-display. I'm fascinated whenever I see this. And perhaps a bit jealous, since there is no way I would ever do that.

I should just move to Iran. I'd be perfectly happy wearing a chador out in public. Plus, it's even black! And part of me wishes that it were more uncommon to see body parts, like in the olden days when one could get all hot and bothered over the sight of a shapely ankle. I may not be Miss Va-Va-Voom 2001, but I have nice ankles. Plus I usually smell pretty good. And I have things to say. Too bad that being clever, slender-ankled, and fragrant don't make society's Top Ten Sexiest Qualities list.

Speaking of having it, flaunting it, and the danger that can ensue:

Why can't we get Lilt in the United States? Everyone I know who lives in the UK (there may be other places where Lilt is available, but I've only seen it there) thinks Lilt is disgusting, but I think it is lovely. If you don't know, Lilt is a carbonated grapefruit/tangerine type beverage, sort of like Fresca but with a stronger flavor. It's made by one of the big soda companies but NOT DISTRIBUTED HERE. Why not? Every time I visit London I make sure to smuggle back some Lilt in my bag, but it's been a while and my Lilt is long gone and I've really had a taste for it lately. In a weak moment I purchased something at a convenience store that sounded similar, called "Fruity Fiesta." (OK, I confess, I also liked the name. So did the gay-boy [his term] friend I was shopping with at the time.) The label mentioned both grapefruit and tangerine flavors, so I had a sliver of hope that Fruity Fiesta might be like Lilt. Short answer: No. Fruity Fiesta may be fruity, but it is by no means a fiesta. Sigh.

I have heard no more from that evil car dealership person. Wouldn't it be typical if he got me all upset yesterday and then dropped the whole thing? It's too bad, because in my usual overimaginative fashion I had positioned myself as the key witness to cracking a ring of international car thieves and credit defrauders. Then I would get to go on one of those evening news shows, with my face silhouetted to hide my identity, and talk through a voice scrambler thing. Maybe I'd even get a code name!

---"mimi smartypants"


join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
Powered by