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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2000-08-04 ... 13:17:57

I have achieved a new level of hungover-ness. Actually it's not that terrible, it just seems that way because I'm at work. Sucking down the diet pepsi and chomping on a bagel (bready thing + cream cheesiness = health and happiness) in an effort to become this side of normal.

Calling in was not an option, because my drinking was done in a work setting, at a function for Editorial last night, and to call in would mean that everyone would know why I was calling in. Which is not an option. Because I may not have glowing skin (but rather ashen and clammy), bright twinkling eyes (but rather purple-ringed and sunken), or a charming and friendly demeanor (but rather surly and snarling), but I do have my pride.

The weirdest feature of this particular hangover is a slight trend toward hysteria: I was on the phone with Sam and I started giggling pretty hard at something I said (because I am the funniest person I know) and couldn't exactly manage to stop. I feel like the top of my head could come off at any moment and I could collapse into random giggles, shouting, and hebephrenia, and they would have to take me away in a straitjacket and on a handtruck like Hannibal Lecter. And wouldn't that make a grand spectacle for my coworkers? Talk about not having pride.

In spite of all this, it is a lovely day here in Chicago. If only I were (note my correct usage of the subjunctive) alive to enjoy it.

I washed my hair this morning, not because I needed to, but because of the bar smell. Let's talk about hair for just a moment. Now that I have joined the ranks of the Long-Haired, it has come back to me (for I have not been long-haired before this since college) that you do not wash your hair every day when said hair is long. Now all you short-haired folks (and I was one of you for years, let's not forget) are going to be all like, "Ewww!" but hold on a second. Hair gets oily because of the scalp. When you have long hair, the majority of the hair is very far away from the scalp. Hence it is not dirty as often as short hair.

I vaguely remember this from the last time I had a bunch o' hair, but I had forgotten it until recently. I was washing my hair every day, and occasionally thinking, "Damn, why does my hair look like crap? Why are we so dry and frizzy and static-y all the time?" Then I remembered. So it is every other day for this girl from now on, for as long as the long hair lasts, unless of course there are gross bar smells to be gotten rid of.

And this revelation is revelatory only to me. Because, like I told you, I am hungover. And slightly hysterical. Very close to the edge now, people.

Don't cross me.

---mimi smartypants, they will come to take her away shortly


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