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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2000-07-21 ... 18:45:05

Various unrelated items here, in this entry. But did you really expect anything else from me? Me, the queen of not-so-very-coherent journal entries?

Speaking of queens (aha! a connection), it was the Queen Mother’s 100th birthday recently. Her official birthday, that is. Not her real one. I think I’m going to start having an official birthday for myself as well. Twice the drinking!

Sam and I were speculating recently on what the Queen (of England) keeps in her purse. She’s always carrying around this little pocketbook, but what could she possibly require? I think it would be too too freaky to use money that had a picture of your own face on it. Maybe breath mints. And a sewing kit.

The place where Sam and I were speculating was Bar Louie. Normally I hate Bar Louie, because it is full to the brim with khakis and cell phones and big-ass diamond engagement things and other accoutrements that belong to the sort of folk who are Not My People. (I like to hang wit’ my peeps, you know what I’m sayin’?) That said, it is convenient to work, and it can be tolerable if you go very early (drink early, drink often) and leave the minute it starts to get horrible. (It goes without saying that we are talking about the original Bar Louie here, the one on Chicago Ave. Yes, it’s a mini-chain. I told you it was dreadful.)

That was a very long preamble. Anyway, when in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a beer-drinking woman with a bladder the size of a thimble (and that would be me) to go to the bathroom in said Bar Louie, there is often a wait. Because it is the sort of bathroom that is only for one person. So I haul my ass off the bar stool to go to the john and indeed someone is using it and there’s a chick ahead of me. And she’s making all those little need-to-pee movements, and we notice that there’s no one in the men’s, and she goes, “Will you hold the door for me?” Of course I will. Sisterhood is powerful and all that.

She finishes, comes out, (remember that there is STILL a wait for the women’s john) and goes, “Thanks, bye!” leaving me still standing there.

Did I miss something? Is it not understood that you hold the door for her, then she holds the door for you? Was that not just rude?

I’ve ranted this story since to many people, and only my female friends get as pissed off as I was. I mean, my male friends agree that it sucked, but it doesn’t seem to offend them on a personal level.

Gentle readers, rest assured that I will always watch the door for you. You may pee in complete confidence when I’m around.

----mimi “let it flow!” smartypants


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