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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2003-07-10 ... 8:50 p.m.

I do not have a whole lot to say but I am kind of chatty and restless so I will post some things, because no one is here to talk me out of it.

First, the Indiana state poem is GODAWFUL. Many things about Indiana are not worth remarking upon (sorry Hoosiers but it is true); however, their state poem is very remarkable FOR THE AMOUNT THAT IT SUCKS. And I think it was written by a crazy person, get a load of this:

I must roam those wooded hillsides,
I must heed the native call,
For a Pagan voice within me
Seems to answer to it all.


But wait, it gets worse! In the very next stanza, even!

I must walk where squirrels scamper
Down a rustic old rail fence,
Where a choir of birds is singing
In the and dense.

NICE ELLIPSES, JERK! What, you just trailed off there for a second? Is this like the Petit Mal Poetry Slam?

" a garden." AHHHHHHH!

Okay, halfway through a beer and starting to feel calmer.

Yesterday was a long day. I had to sit through a software demo, I had to do an editorial review for two different books, and then I had to go out to dinner with some of out-of-town editors. I was at the office so late that the lights switched over to being motion-sensitive only, so that whenever I sat too long at my desk quietly reading or pondering I was plunged into darkness, and had to wildly toss my arms around like Kermit the Frog to be able to see again. I was there so late the air-conditioning slowed to an intermittent wheeze. I was there so late the only other people around, besides the out-of-towners stuck in their meeting, were The Woman With No Life Whatsoever and The Ghostly Guy Who Obviously Is Having Some Sort Of Marital Difficulties And Would Honestly Rather Be At The Office. I got a lot done, but it still was no kind of good time, and a few hours of talking shop and eating expense-account generic downtown food was no recompense. Plus, the only people in River North after dark are tourists with immense shopping bags from their Michigan Avenue consumer orgies.

On the ride home, I saw a tall guy in brown pants and a green shirt, headphones slung around his neck, leaning against the subway doors and reading The Celestine Prophecy. It was the same tall guy in brown pants and a green shirt, headphoned, leaning against the subway doors and reading The Celestine Prophecy who I saw that same morning, on the way to work. It made me shudder and laugh simultaneously, since it is all just too metatextual. Were I a flaky New-Age sort who had actually read this book I would probably interpret the double sighting as some sort of spiritual coincidence with great meaning.

Micro films make me unreasonably happy. Particularly the one with the square-dancing bunny.

Around Cardiff with a coconut. The one time I was ever in Cardiff, we went to the city center to see the castle (okay you have to admit that is cool), and stretched across one street was this huge banner that proclaimed CARDIFF VS. THE BARBARIANS and gave an upcoming date. I was quite worried until someone explained it was just a local soccer thing and we were not about to be invaded by a marauding horde.

Mining just isn't very safe. I love the word "fatalgram."


No shortage of Khans in my neighborhood.

Huevos! Al Gusto!

Freezer Bear would like to buy you a shot.

This is a terrible picture taken through my oven door. These are not cookies, but slices of eggplant that I breaded and baked, and served with pasta sauce. I call this "Shriveled Disks With Sauce." They are good.

My beloved Old Style next to LT's beloved bourbon. Awww.

A package of Eat Me brand dates! Eat me!


I'm a webcam girl! Check out my tits! Well, check out one of my favorite t-shirts, featuring a pterodactyl, anyway. The little Incredible Hulk is meant to hold a child's toothbrush. He has a slot in his back and you grasp him around the torso to perform your oral hygiene duties. But I already used the toothbrush to clean grime out of the bathroom tile, so the Hulk hangs out with me now. And donates his time for crap photography. Thanks, man!

---mimi smartypants hatched from an egg.


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