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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-06-25 ... 2:50 p.m.

I work in one of those security-obsessed buildings where you need the passkey thing to get anywhere on the floor. We just all got new ones, and while the digital photo makes me look decidedly greenish, I am enjoying the new superstrong power of the magnet or chip or whatever thingy that makes it unlock the door. (Technologically savvy? No, not me. Next thing you know I'll be claiming it's "magic elf dust" that makes the door unlock.) The new magnets (?) are very strong, with the end result being that if the passkey is in my pocket I can just sort of thrust my pelvis at the door and it will unlock. I'm all for any technology that translates into more pelvic thrusts per workday.

Jesus Christ. If I were to award a prize for "Most Disgusting Found Poem," this would win:

GERMAN HEADCHEESE A piquant, gelatin-based round loaf with generous chunks of cooked pork tongue and beef and ham pieces enhanced with chopped onions, herbs, and white wine vinegar. A classic aficionados won't want to miss.

Piquant. Gelatin-based. (What?) Loaf. GENEROUS CHUNKS OF COOKED PORK TONGUE. Beef and ham "pieces." And of course, it's a "classic" for aficionados (as in, per Websters: a person who likes, knows about, and appreciates a usually fervently pursued interest or activity). So, according to whoever writes the product copy for Saags, there are people out there who fervently pursue headcheese.

You can find that gem and others here.

Yesterday LT and I went and played miniature golf. Now, I suck at most sports, but I love miniature golf, and I can putt like nobody's business. I won, naturally, although I have to say it was kind of a tricky course, and we both had difficulty on some so-called par 2 holes. (Par 2 for whom? For Tiger Woods?) Although the course had no moving mechanical parts on any of the holes, which made it lose a few cheesy Americana points in my book, it did have a very cool global theme: holes representing Antarctica (with fiberglass penguins, hooray!), the Great Barrier Reef, Mayan Ruins, and (my favorite), Easter Island complete with big tiki heads. Afterwards we stopped for ice cream at Dairy Star (where a sign warned that the Chicago Rabbinical Council cannot guarantee the kosher status of soft-serve) and then headed home. What a great Sunday.

Headcheese, anyone?

---mimi smartypants


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