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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-05-30 ... 2:06 p.m.

It looks like rain now, which fills me with dread, since I forgot my umbrella. Okay, "dread" might be a strong word, but I seriously don't like getting wet without my prior consent. Such as, showers are fine, rain avec umbrella is fine, but sudden, unexpected downpours are not fine and if you want me never to speak to you again, grab me and throw me in the pool. Seriously. Not funny. Not to mention the fact that I can't swim.

While we're on the topic of Bodily Sensations I Don't Enjoy (it's just all about me, isn't it?), I may have mentioned in here that I have a Foot Thing. I cannot stand to have anyone touch my feet. I don't want a pedicure. I don't want a foot massage. I live in fear (once again, "live in fear" is an exaggeration) of developing some sort of foot malady (pedomalady?) serious enough to require a visit to a podiatrist. I can't even watch someone else get a foot massage. I snatch shoes away from salesmen in fancy shoe stores, saying "I'll try that on myself, thanks."

We had a Wellness Fair recently at work, and a podiatry clinic was there offering free foot screenings. I had to run through the lobby with my eyes averted.

Also at the Wellness Fair there was some sort of mental health association that was offering free squishy stress balls in the shape of brains if you completed a depression screening. Needless to say, I was all over the idea of having a squishy brain. However, by the time I got down there they were out of squishy brains, and when I marched up to the table and announced, "Hi, what do I have to do to get a squishy brain?" the mental health worker on duty gave me kind of a strange look. Eventually she figured out what I was talking about, but it transpired that there were no more squishy brains to be had. Sigh.

Yet more witchcraft. I swear, it's not safe anywhere. Hold on to your privates, kids.

---mimi wellness smartypants


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