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the latest
waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04
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I recently bought 100% silk underwear (online, of course. My new theory is that everything one needs to purchase should be purchased online. If I never had to set foot in a retail store again I'd be the happiest clam in the world). 100% silk underwear, you ask? What kind of freaking princess are you, anyway, Mimi Smartypants? What's next, a brassiere made from the finest Nova Scotia salmon? Bathing in Perrier? Caviar shampoo? (Boy, you are sarcastic today.) Although I sometimes like to play it like I am all tough and Spartan, I will admit to being a sucker for luxurious fabrics. (Cashmere everything, please!) However, the 100% silk underwear is almost too...luxurious. If you know what I mean. And I don't believe you do. And I can't remember why I started talking about this, and it's wildly inappropriate, and I'm shutting up now. Never mind. SPEAKING OF LUXURY Here's the fantastic advertisement from the 1923 film Alimony: "Brilliant men, beautiful jazz babies, champagne baths, midnight revels, and petting parties in the purple dawn---all ending in one terrific smashing climax that makes you gasp." Sigh. That makes me want to bob my hair and take off in Daddy's roadster. Twenty-three skidoo! OUCH Go to this page and do a find on "groin." Scrotum wax! It is filed under "hair removal" so I guess it is the hair-removing sort of wax, not the sort of wax that makes things (like a scrotum) really polished and shiny. ANIL'S UTOPIAN AND POSSIBLY OVEROPTIMISTIC VIEW OF THE WORLD Getting polygamous with Anil Dash! A SHORT AND INCOMPLETE LIST OF RETAIL STORES AND CONSUMER PRODUCTS (MOSTLY FOOD-RELATED) THAT IMPLY OR EVEN OUTRIGHT REFERENCE MENTAL ILLNESS *Pizza Mania. (there's also a place with the same name in Edgewater [Chicago neighborhood]) (There are too many other "Crazy" + "Possessive Proper Name" to count, really, so I'll stop there.) *Dangerously cheesy. My god, man! That cheese-o-meter is all the way in the red! Gets points for mentioning "cheese-crazed behavior." PROPOSED NEW CRAZY GOODS AND SERVICES *This Bologna Be Buggin' MORE WEIRD FOOD Yummy Yasser chips.(I thought about making some "jihadlicious" or "New Intifada Flavor" joke, but that would be in poor taste, wouldn't it? I'd like to see Ariel Sharon counter with his own brand of snack food. It could be called I AM A MAN OF PEACE BWAH HA HA HA HA WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. And I think it would be BBQ Flavor.) (Insert my juvenile snickering here.) Hey. If you don't laugh, you're going to cry. And nobody likes a crybaby. NO MACHINE GUN JOKES, PLEASE I had to take my violin with me to work today, because my lesson is somewhere west of California on Irving Park and there's no way I would make it home and back in time. Riding a crowded bus with my violin case made me feel about ten years old again (I was a stereotypical geek girl with straight-across bangs, Elvis Costello glasses, braces, violin case), a feeling that was not helped by the fact that (a) I had to switch from my messenger bag to my purple backpack with the monster on it (because all my sheet music etc wouldn't fit otherwise) and (b) today I was in serious Comfort Mode and thus wore my Chuck Taylor sneakers. However, because a pointy violin case is naturally carried at about knee-bashing level, and can easily be carried at crotch level with a bit of adjusting, I think my fellow commuters gave me the proper amount of respect. ---mimi smartypants has been working on the railroad all the livelong day. back/forward |
