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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-05-14 ... 5:51 a.m.


Drinking Earl Grey tea. Banana by my side (patient, faithful banana) that I haven't eaten yet. Listening to Clinic. (Warning: lots and lots of exclamation points in this review. Someone! Is! Excited!)


Ahhhhh! Totally gross. Excellent collage material.

More than you ever wanted to know about goofy hats of war.


This is possibly of interest to all you fans of the no-wave noise: dead ceo presents a variety show. I am considering an appearance,* so internet stalkers take note. I'm easy to spot, just look for the small scowling girl wearing black. (And don't look for LT: he recently re-expressed his opinion that a musician shouldn't have to signal that his/her performance is over by looking up from a laptop and saying, "That's it." Which, again, is perfectly fine. He can have his Bach and his user groups and his extremely footnoted books about the Ottoman Empire and I'll have my screechy electronic wind-tunnel sounds and lectures about the Black Death** and my Novels of Extreme Alienation. Tomato tomahto etc.)

*Speaking of my appearance, a number of you have expressed your surprise via e-mail at my description of myself as being short. Do I sound tall? Textually tall? Please say yes!

**Last night I had Thai food with LT and then went to a lecture about the microbiology of the bubonic plague. It's literally only in the last ten years that we've gotten the bubonic plague gene sequenced, and have learned about all the cool stuff it does to try to survive. And Madagascar recently reported antibiotic-resistant bubonic plague (the genes for antibiotic resistance are transmitted horizontally, and it only takes a generation or two for other bacteria to catch on, so resistance can happen literally in a few days). Bubonic plague doesn't make the greatest bioterrorism weapon, nor is a large-scale outbreak likely to happen, so don't waste too much of your time worrying about it, but Yersina pestis is a very cool bacteria nonetheless.

(The lecturer also strongly suggested, since there are still a few [around 20/year] cases of bubonic plague in the Southwestern United States, that you not handle any wild rodents, whether they are alive or dead. "Never poke a gopher corpse," he said. Ever since then I can't get that out of my mind. NEVER POKE A GOPHER CORPSE. I'll have to check and see if is taken. Or maybe just free shipping on bulk gopher corpse orders!)


Anyway. I found the microbiology of the plague lecture fascinating. If I couldn't be an editor, here's some other careers I think I would enjoy:

Neurosurgeon (do you think that trembly hands thing would be a liability?)
Owner of a dark grimy dive bar
Bulldozer operator
Literary agent (the sleazy three-martini lunch kind: Baby you're gonna be a postmodern star! You're the greatest novelist in the world! Now just lie back and trust me.)
Demolition specialist (wrecking balls and/or explosives)
Wealthy patron of the arts

I also have an interest in becoming a professional surf bum, despite my huge list of disqualifications (can't swim, hate the sun, can't be seen in limb-exposing clothing, intense fear of sharks, poor gross motor control, find the ocean unsanitary). I think I'm mostly interested in the surf bum thing for the marijuana and the chicks.

---mimi smartypants is making another festive compromise.


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