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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-05-14 ... 3:18 p.m.

I've been frantically reviewing all the June issues of my journals today, like a super-busy little bee, and stupidly I left my tin of mints out on my desk while I worked. I tend to do things obsessively and out of nervous habit than out of any real desire. And I'm very oral (no jokes, please), so many of my nervous habits revolve around putting things in my mouth. When I used to smoke, I smoked without thinking, just to have something in my mouth. When I stopped smoking, and would attempt to go to parties without the crutch of cigarettes, I would get really really drunk because the normal pattern of a drink and a cigarette became a drink and a drink instead. I chew on my fingers and I devour pens. And now, with the mints out on my desk, I've eaten just about the entire tin. I have the freshest fucking breath in the universe.

These mints are awesome, though, if only for the penguin on the tin with all the psychedelic cosmic rays around him. Go to that site and get yourself some Penguin Mints. Now.

I forgot to mention something. At the science editors' conference I was just at, the program committee was kicking around some possible keynote speakers for next year, and one of the names mentioned was Al Gore. Now, if you've been reading this Thing, you know about my Al Gore issues, and how I yearn to see him pantsless. Just that. I do not yearn to sleep with Al Gore, or cuddle with him, or even to see him entirely naked. Pantslessness will do.

So I was thinking, if we do get Al Gore to be a keynote speaker at this conference (which is unlikely, but you never know), presumably he would stay in the conference hotel, and I would stay at the conference hotel, so we'd be in the same building, and at some point he would most likely need to take off his pants, to shower or go to bed or what have you, and then I would be in the same building as a Pantsless Al Gore, which is not much but it's closer than I have been thus far.

I think it's very important to have goals.

---minty fresh mimi


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