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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-05-03 ... 11:27 a.m.

Weather Word for today = LUSCIOUS. Oh my.

I was having a bit of a rough time this morning, some misplaced despair and whatnot (this was probably self-evident by my mawkish moaning and head-petting shoutout in the last entry), but then I checked the smartypants stats and was somewhat cheered: because it turns out that, through a weird combination of random words and phrases, this page is number four on a Google search for MY SLAVE HUSBAND LIKES IT UP THE ASS. Someone's slave husband likes it up the ass, and this person just cannot keep this knowledge to herself, she is bursting with pride and happiness, but whom do you tell? Who will listen? You can't just walk into the office, grab some coffee, and say "Good morning! Thank god it's Friday! My slave husband likes it up the ass!" It will never do. So you open up your web browser and you tell Google all about it. Yes.


My mantra used to be "self-contained underwater breathing apparatus" but now it is water safety pie. Water safety pie. Water safety pie. I feel better already.

That's it? That's all you could think of? Diss my heritage again and you'll feel my wrath. I'll arm-wrestle your pasty whitebread ass to the floor.

The capybara kind of freaks me out.


The hobo spider kind of freaks me out too. I'm just all freaked out by the natural world today.

LT is always threatening to go off hoboing somewhere. Go ahead, I say. If that's what would make you happy. I'll help you pack your bandana on a stick and I'll be here when you get back.

There was one of these hobo-themed restaurants in my college town.

There are not enough glyphs in the hobo symbol set to really get anything non-hobo-related across. I guess hobos are not trying to communicate big concepts with these.

Hey kids! Let's all pretend we're homeless! Oh what fun!

Besides "water safety pie," the other phrase I like to say is "robot hobo." What would be the point of building a hobo robot? It would just wander off somewhere, riding the rails, passing out in your backyard. I thought about hobos so much yesterday. (However, probably not a single hobo thought about me.) And then I was on the bus, on my way to the Goldstar for beer with Kat (it's a Thursday thing, you wouldn't understand), there were these sketchy ads shoved into the frames of each bus window that said BE A MODEL----OR JUST LOOK LIKE ONE! So I scratched out "model" and replaced it with "hobo." On the same bus was this hipster guy with a SEVERE case of bedhead and a messy beard, wearing ostentatiously ill-fitting polyester pants, and he just could not have looked worse, and he was also sitting there reading some hipster zine and scratching his head, he just WOULD NOT STOP SCRATCHING HIS HEAD, and I was getting all grossed out because he probably had lice or something. So my defacing of the model/hobo ads was really a subtle shoutout to him, but it was all wasted because he never even looked in my direction.

---mimi smartypants is doing the Charleston in her pajamas.


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