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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-04-30 ... 1:51 p.m.

Here are a few of my favorite signs along Devon Avenue:

Fresh Baby Coat, $2.99/lb

Free Butcher Boy With Every $10 Purchase

"Psychic" Reading By "Madeline"----Palm Reading and "Tarot" Cards

Gotta love those misused quotation marks. Or are they misused? Hmmm.

Plus, even though I'm not sure what I'd do with the free butcher boy, it's awfully tempting. A whole butcher boy for only $10! But where would he sleep?

Here are some fictional bars I'd like to fictionally own (as in, I'm mostly being silly and have no real desire to expand my vast entertainment empire into the area of bar ownership). LT and I love to come up with silly names for bars.

(1) The Stinking Hole. Would you drink at a bar called The Stinking Hole? I would! I'd be there in a heartbeat! "Hey, meet me at The Stinking Hole at 7:30." If I owned this place, I would leave lots and lots of damp bar rags around the place to get that dank mildewed feeling.

(2) The Diapered Elf. This would be a faux English/Irish pub sort of place. On the sign, naturally, would be an elf, wearing a diaper and holding a beer stein. Admit it, you'd drink here too.

(3) To continue with the current rage of "theme" bars (Barmacy, Big Wig), I propose my latest: Lumbar Bar, with the theme of chiropractic health. The bar stools would be ergonomically perfect, the bartenders would also be licensed massage therapists, and we'd have drink specials like "The Slipped Disk."

This weekend was very nice and relaxing, and today I'm leaving early (we had a bookcase custom-made and it's getting delivered today), so I really can't complain. Except about one thing. Why oh why did have to go out of business? Since I don't really enjoy movies (see earlier rants), the decision to rent a video means I am really at the very bottom of the barrel for entertainment options, and that I lack the energy and will to even walk down to the scary corner bar or call a friend, so naturally going to the video store is out of the question in that particular pathetic state. Therefore, it totally rocked that one could just log on and say, "Bring me a film, for I am a slug!" But no more. Sad.

Anyone participating in May Day events this year? I'll be there, at Jackson and LaSalle at 11:30 tomorrow. Maybe I'll even wear my Mao hat. Viva la revolucion!

----mimi smartypants, worker bee


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