Back to Diaryland

the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-04-25 ... 11:22 a.m.


1. My new favorite thing to listen to (and I am not in any way being sarcastic) is the midi version of "I Love Rock and Roll" (you'll have to scroll down some). I just find it charming and delightful. Somewhere Joan Jett is running for the bathroom with her hand over her mouth.

2. DREAM: I was cooking dinner (kitchen suffused with a warm hearthlike glow, wearing an apron, color in my cheeks: these are all clues that it was just a dream) and Eric Clapton rushed in all disheveled and asked for a cup of coffee. It was an emergency, he stressed. (What the fuck? I am not nearly old enough to be dreaming about Eric Clapton.) I don't drink coffee (it's all about the leaves in water, for me), so instead I fixed Eric Clapton a concoction of red wine, drain cleaner, and sugar. This he drank down, picked up his guitar, and segued into "Layla." It was the best version ever.

3. Come to the Hideout on Saturday, if you are near the Windy City, for The Dishes (complicated melodic punk, great-big-monster bass lines) and The Nerves (really fast, really loud). I guarantee...hmm, what do I guarantee? Not that you will have a good time, that's really up to you. How about I stick to guaranteeing that there will be beer available in exchange for US dollars. That seems good enough.


More nerves. I'm not clear on exactly what "I" am, though, when seeing this animation from my fly-through perspective. A blood cell? But wouldn't I be trapped in a vessel then, and all would be cloudy? I'm not really traveling along any particular pathway, so I can't be a pure bit of nerve conduction electricity. WHAT AM I?

The Atlas of Ultrastructural Neurocytology kicks ass. All those polysyllabic words make me swoon with polysyllabic glee.

I can't wait to read this book.

Fuck it, I want to be human. (This does too fit in this category of links. It makes perfect sense if you are me.)


For having such an evocative name, the nightingale is not the most visually arresting bird. No offense to the nightingale.


If there's one thing I love, besides sweet and jingly Joan Jett renditions and ultrastructural neurocytology, it's a suggestion box. I cannot walk by a suggestion box without adding a suggestion. Several CEOs at my work, past and present, have been very fond of the suggestion box, I guess as a way of fostering a false sense of relevance among us worker bees and preventing us from rising up in proletariat revolution, and I'm sure they have occasionally regretted this practice when reading the absurd and stream-of-consciousness anonymous suggestions from me. Some past suggestions I've typed out and stuffed in the suggestion box include:

*Tube Top Day (gender-neutral).
*posting large signs in the employee restrooms that say NO MASTURBATING ON THE JOB (just so no one gets any ideas). Or management could even play a dirty trick, just to teach everyone a lesson: put porn magazines and large tubs of Astroglide in each stall, but somehow spike the lube so it contained tiny particles of sand or lava rock. Oh, the chafing! That would teach them!
*serving only one shape of food per day in the cafeteria (Spherical Food Day, Cuboid Food Day)
*giving away temporary tattoos with each copy of our journals (especially cool for the dermatology journals)
*a new rule that says if you literally can build a robot to do your job and do it well you should be able to do so and retire instantly with millions of dollars
*assign each employee a Sworn Enemy: a nemesis that he/she would have to assiduously avoid and/or make that person's life difficult from afar. If you came in contact with your Sworn Enemy by accident you would have to duel on the spot. Sworn Enemies would be assigned at random, so it would just be your own bad luck if yours worked on your own floor or something.
*settling all disputes at meetings through either feats of strength or the dozens.
*Casual Sex Friday (thanks Mick!)


The guano trade.

Not a very interesting page, but congratulations for getting the domain "bat management."

But hey! you cry. I don't want it removed! I want to buy some!

---mimi smartypants had a vision, there wasn't any television.


join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
Powered by