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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-04-05 ... 3:05 p.m.

More gems from the referral logs:

egypt sluts (this one MULTIPLE times, along with "egyptian sluts")

playing with a penis

skanky lingerie

orange sex (what?)

The Person/Persons Unknown who stole my wallet last month has/have now branched out into writing bad checks on my old, closed account. Every goddamn day I get another notice in the mail for some staggering amount of money saying pay this immediately because your check is bad because the account is closed. I've been spending a whole lot of time writing letters to these places and enclosing copies of the forgery affadavit, the police report, etc etc, so I've been spending a lot of money on stamps as well.

What really gets me is that these companies bill themselves as "check verification services." Um, if you were really "verifying" the check that the thief wrote, you would note that the checking account has been closed for a month and the ID has been reported stolen. And that's another thing. Most places will let you write a check only if you show a photo ID. The thief has my old license, since my entire wallet was stolen, but what are the odds that she looks anything like me? There are some slack store clerks out there, let me tell you.

I can only hope she or he (I'm assuming she, because of the license thing) runs out of checks soon.

I have a minor crush on Louis Theroux, who does that "Weird Weekends" show on BBC. Not only is he cute as hell, but I think he has a good, balanced, accepting attitude toward the freaks he meets and interviews. If you are a fan of things like web journals and "This American Life," you would enjoy this show.

There's a sign in the window of the kosher butcher shop in my neighborhood (HOW MANY PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES CAN I CRAM INTO ONE SENTENCE? A LOT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH) that advertises "Pork Shoulder Arm Picnic." What the hell is that? Whatever it is, it's $2.99 a pound.

----pork mimi shoulder arm picnic smartypants


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