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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-04-03 ... 1:48 p.m.


Next month I have to be in San Diego for five days, for a conference, and thus I wanted to give a big shout-out to all you worldly and well-traveled people and ask: if you know of fun cool things to do in San Diego and environs, please e-mail me your suggestions. Or if you want me to pick up any cheap pseudo-legal prescription drugs for you in Tijuana, I'm open to that too. It will be a busy five days but I will have some downtime: so far I've got a zoo visit lined up but I'm puzzled as to what else San Diego has to offer a goofy chick like me.

I recently learned that, because of my new committee chair responsibilities, I will have to make "remarks" at this meeting. And probably not smart-ass remarks, either. In front of hundreds of people. I think I may need to buy a suit. The buying a suit thing terrifies me much more than the making remarks thing, to be honest.

Five days. I like hotel rooms---the little soaps, the gigantic bathtubs, the pseudo-illicit fun of bouncing on the bed and drinking soda from a machine as you stay up too late watching television, the novelty of reading some random local paper---but five days is a long time, and I fear I shall get lonely, and then all the things I don't like about hotel rooms---the too-quiet nights, the king-sized beds with overly starched sheets, the fact that every time you get hungry it's like this big deal to go to a restaurant or purchase some snacks---will become more prominent.


1. I like the Guarneri recordings of the late Beethoven string quartets very much, but if I ever find out which of the four musicians insisted on inhaling all jerky and close to the microphone before every major phrase in the C-sharp minor one, I will definitely give that guy a piece of my mind.

2. There's a new, absolutely godawful subway musician at the Jackson Avenue Red Line stop: an older bearded guy with a boom box playing some boring R&B beat, and then he just moans "JEEEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEESUS!" over and over again with varying cadences and out-of-tune arpeggios. It sounds like someone is squeezing all the air out of him, and it is hellaciously loud, and it makes me want to drink paint thinner. Moaning Jesus Guy, please stop. Thanks.


It's old, but Bill Clinton's Yale speech stands up to re-reading, especially with a new suicide bomber every other day or so.

This is one of the greatest interviews I've read in a while. MC Paul Barman, let me buy you a beer.


Yesterday there was a discussion about how to get more employees to attend the annual picnic. I never attend the annual picnic, and thus I was asked to share my thoughts about what could entice me to go. Unfortunately my response, "hold it at night, in a bar," probably won't be acted upon.

Your job might be annoying, but at least you are not listening to tape after tape of baboons having sex. Or are you?

Here is a list of the subject lines of the last 10 e-mails I've received at work: 18, Re: 18, Fwd: Re: Question, Grrrrr, Fwd: Re: Spelling, Reference Meeting, Re: Audiovisual Requirements for Panel, Re: howdeeeeee, July Deadlines, and Hippocampal Sclerosis Paper.

Man, was that boring. Please send me better e-mail. It doesn't have to be about baboons, sex, or baboons having sex, but those topics are not off-limits either. The world is your goddamn oyster.

----mimi "bivalve" smartypants


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