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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-03-23 ... 12:46 p.m.

I AM ODDLY PREDICTABLE AND PREDICTABLY ODD. There is a very large squid in the world. A very strange squid. A squid so big and so strange that it freaks out even the most hardened squid scientists. A squid so big, in fact, that it baffles. You have no idea how excited and tingly the phrase A Squid So Big It Baffles makes me. Whisper "a squid so big it baffles" in my ear and I'm so yours it's not even funny. I'm going to steal (appropriate, sample) the phrase A Squid So Big It Baffles and use it for an album or book title. Or maybe just go to a sign-making place and get a huge banner:


to carry in the next available parade. (May Day!)

THE PART WHERE THINGS ARE DESCRIBED. All is quiet here. Last night I closed the Gold Star with my cow-orkers, and LT joined us at some point, and pool was played, and the jukebox was hijacked, and one of my friends took her freaking life in her hands by ordering a glass of WINE (at the Gold Star! What the hell are you thinking?), and then the 3 am burritos were eaten before heading home. Right now LT is napping on the couch, looking like a little kid with his arms all askew and his mouth open. Right before he dropped the pretense of reading the paper and fell asleep, I reminded him that the condo unit above ours is having an open house today, so we need to behave ourselves so as not to screw things up for our neighbors who are trying to sell their place. "You mean don't go walking around the building looking like a hungover unshowered bastard?" he asked. Precisely.

I'm doing quite well considering how little sleep I've had: clean and dressed and feeling slightly guilty about typing this instead of cleaning up my house, which is absolutely overflowing with paper of every type and description. I don't think I've bothered to open the mail in two weeks.


Look everybody it's Jesus!

What's a wendigo?

I take it the kid on this page is wearing some kind of furry hat, but it looks a hell of a lot like a giant Afro wig to me.

Wu-Tang Clan Volunteer Application. I found this by googling wu-tang clan + application, because don't they have like fifteen people in the group? It seems that there could be room for one more, and who better to join the Wu-Tang crew than mimi smartypants?

Craft projects gone horribly awry. Sweet snowboarding mother of god, what is WRONG with people?

Samuel Beckett said, "Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness." I wish he hadn't said that.

---mimi smartypants, shutting up now.


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