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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-03-20 ... 11:56 a.m.


[Prisoner's Dilemma (not really): If I were forced to choose either Beavis or Butthead as a spiritual leader (like if the world had divided into two mass cults, a Beavis Cult and a Butthead Cult, and to remain outside the system entirely was not an option), I think I'd have to go with Beavis, because the shaman-like ease with which he slips into altered states of consciousness (such as with the cappuccino or the sight of fire) appeals to the thyiad within me and what would be the point of religion if it didn't transport you somewhere?]

[Dried pineapple rings (which I'm eating now, with a steaming mug of Earl Grey and the Hancock Building disappearing in the fog) take top honors in the Cutting the Roof of Your Mouth to Ribbons category. Captain Crunch (I refuse to spell that the way they do) is the usual food that is referenced as the winner in this category, but I implore you to give dried pineapple rings a try. That is, if you feel that the roof of your mouth is entirely too healthy and whole.]

[Sounds sounds sounds. Who likes sounds? I do. Stephen Vitiello, the guy who is famous in an art-school way for recording the World Trade Center, has done a gently spooky ambient-style project called Tetrasomia that makes use of field recordings and sounds from the natural world. The page also has some other mouse-over bits where you can hear more natural sounds, like falling rocks and mating insects. Even more highly recommended by me is another piece of his, The Light of Falling Cars. And if you want a few more beats (but not too many, don't expect danceability or anything), there's always these tracks from Scratchy Marimba.]

[Give yourself a huge raise, be mediocre, get fired, leave with millions. (Bank of America is only one of the many examples I could have linked.) Disgusting. Catch you later, I'm off to the revolution (a fashion-conscious revolution, with cashmere coveralls and cute little Mao hats).]

[Shockwave for children. And for adults who need symmetry, order, head massages, and comfort during their work day. Who, me?]

[You Know It's Going to Be a Weird Wednesday When: you discover your textual doppleganger online. I love this stuff but it's eerie to read something that reminds me of myself. I'd like a bowl of CRANBERRY MISGIVINGS, please.]

[Oh, poor baby. Oscar Wilde seems a little cranky here.]

[The college that LT and I both attended recently asked for updated biographical information and anecdotes for an upcoming reunion. I would like to write something like this:

Mimi Smartypants and LT live in Chicago and are doing well. They recently traveled to India, purchased a home, and discovered the joys of uncut angel dust. LT continues to work on his PhD dissertation and on peeling himself like an orange. When the planets are aligned perfectly, he can hover several inches off the ground! Mimi is a medical editor and a member of several professional associations for science and journalism. She insists that she has a leprechaun tied up in the basement, but further investigation revealed that it was just a miniature schnauzer that she had shaved and painted green. That's our Mimi: whatta crazy dusthead! They send their love to "all the old crew!"

But I probably won't.]

---mimi smartypants, whiskey-voiced and saucer-eyed.


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