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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-02-23 ... 15:02:05

Yesterday I had a telephone repair guy in the house for 4 hours. Finally I got sick of all the pitiful whimpering, pulled the duct tape off his mouth, and let him go.

Hee hee hee! OK, no. We have a phone in the bedroom, a cordless, that mysteriously stopped working a few months back. So LT and I made the trek to Target to purchase another phone, which still didn't work. We came to discover that it was not the phone, but the phone jack, that had mysteriously stopped working. Since all the jacks in the back of the house worked just fine, it took us a few months to get around to calling the horrorshow of bad customer serivce that is Ameritech. Of course, only having working phones in the back of the house meant that I had to seriously book down the hall to answer the phone if I was in the living room, or (more likely knowing me) just lie on the couch while it rang and check for messages later.

Anyway, we call, and the Ameritech guy comes, and spends 4 HOURS in the house. Apparently whoever did the rehab had a seriously freewheeling attitude toward wiring. The repair guy was pretty amazed, and at one point said he had "never seen anything like it." Not good words to hear if you're a homeowner. But he got all the phone jacks working except one, in the spare room, and he was all set to persevere with that mystery when we decided to just never mind. Every jack where there's a phone works, and that's good enough for me. The whole debacle will cost me an extra $99 on my phone bill, which is painful, but not bad considering the amount of labor involved. Iíve had dates that were shorter than this repair guy's visit.

I just found a British 5-pence piece in my keyboard drawer.

I'm sure you've all seen the milk commercial with the big carton of milk running on a treadmill and all that. What I wouldn't give to have a big carton of milk suit. I've always had a weird desire to wear a vegetable costume, to run around dressed as a stalk of broccoli or something. To be part of the Fruit of the Loom crew would be a dream gig for any actor, in my opinion. I dressed as a teabag once for Halloween, but that's the closest I've come to wearing a fruit or vegetable costume. Sigh.

---mimi "onionhead" smartypants


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