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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-02-21 ... 21:24:30

The recent Russian double agent guy (Hanssen, I think his name is...I don't know, read the damn news you lazypants people) is a graduate of my college! And that is exciting because it is a very small college in a nowhere town. To think it could have trained me to be a double agent, and yet all I learned was how to read ancient Greek and drink tequila.

Mmmm. Tequila. I haven't had tequila in ages. It's the only shot I can do, as I abhor brown drinks. Somehow I missed all the girly drinks in college. I was out once with my sister-in-law and some of her friends, and they said, "We're doing shots, what do you want?" and I just answered "tequila" since, as I said before, it's the only straight liquor I enjoy, and they were all unjustly impressed with my bad-assness since they were drinking complex things like "Mind Erasers" and "Kamikazes" that I truthfully had never heard of. It hadn't really occurred to me that a shot could be anything other than straight liquor.

Insert some sort of transition here.

A friend of mine just bought a condo, and she could not get further away from me and still be in the city limits. (I don't think that was her intention, it's just that you take the good real estate where you find it, and this city is rather spread out.) It got me thinking about addresses and locations. When I was a child, I always wanted to live above a store. We had a perfectly nice apartment building, and most of the apartments that are above stores (at least where I grew up) were complete dumps, but I thought there was something very urban and romantic about living above a store. My mother never could figure that one out.

Also, living in Chicago, which is essentially a gigantic grid, I've always thought it would be neat ("Neat." How Midwestern of me) to live at the intersection of a grid point of the same distance. For instance, Damen and Armitage would be 2000 North and 2000 West. Chicago and Halsted, 800 and 800. North and Ashland, 1600 and 1600. This makes no sense, really, but it appeals to my sense of symmetry.

There are some good street names in Chicago, too. There's a street called Wolfram. Is that a device you use to ram something into a wolf? Sounds dangerous. Or is it a sort of battering ram, only with a wolf on the end? That sounds dangerous too. There's a street called Hoyne. Now THAT sounds naughty. Ouch, right in the Hoyne! Hey baby, I got ten inches of throbbing Hoyne, all ready for you.

The world is full of silly place names: Fishkill, Walla Walla, Washington, Kuala Lumpur, Uzbekistan, Abu Dhabi, Hobart, Moosejaw, Saskatchewan, Pago Pago. Some intrepid travel agent should run a tour where you only go to places with silly names. I'd go.

---mimi "I'll take a Wolfram on the rocks" smartypants


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