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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-02-15 ... 10:34 a.m.

For some reason, both yesterday and today, we (the royal "we," I guess) have been starting entries with the funny shit. Why is that? Damned if I know. But here's some detourned children's books that made me laugh my dumb-ass laugh this morning. Make sure you read them all. (Or else what? What am I going to do about it if you don't?) It's subtle, but for some reason "A Bear's Shame" made me laugh the hardest. (And the dumb-ass-est.)

I wish I had a pair of mittens large enough to cover my body.

Yesterday I was on the train and I saw a guy who looked exactly like Squiggy. I'm talking exactly, to the point where if it had been Halloween I would have complimented him on the Squiggy costume. Cheap vinyl jacket, spit-curl, surly/bewildered expression. I was frightened. (And then I was frightened further, just now, by the existence of multiple Lenny/Squiggy Web pages, and the apparent existence of Laverne and Shirley fan fiction. I say "apparent" because I was too frightened to click on any.)

LT brought me purple tulips yesterday (my favorite: roses are way too common and they smell bad); my hyacinth bulb is starting to come up, all purple; and I'm in my purple pajamas and purple bathrobe right now. Or I was when I typed that, but I'll probably be sadly dressed and shampooed and lipsticked by the time I get around to posting this.

PURPLE: "One must always bear in mind that there are thousands of things that can give a purple color, besides LSD."

PURPLE: This cleaning product is purple, and it is manufactured quite near my childhood home. Check out the old-timey print ads, especially the one with the housefrau pressing the bottle to her face and getting all lovestruck about glass cleaner. Nice bangs and pointy boobs though.

Mundane Boozeday Deadsday Blursday, but now it's Friday, and I think that's nice. I have dinner plans tonight, with some folks from Boston, and then who knows. If you're in Chicago, and want to see some gender-bending lip-synching action, go check out the Drag Kings show at Empty Bottle. They are always a good time. This weekend I also plan to:

(a) Take the sleep-hygiene advice I received via e-mail to heart, and get down and dirty with the hot baths and the chamomile and the kava kava. (Maybe not all at once.) If all my connective tissue dissolves as a result of too much relaxation, I'm holding all you motherfuckers responsible.

(b) Sit in some cafe with endless cups of tea, type type type (on my portable keyboard! man I love that thing), and work out some of the various obsessions that have been bugging me. Try and dispel the nimbus of words.

(c) Domesticity: finally open the mail (I have about two weeks' worth piled up; for some reason I despise opening mail), replace the hallway's light bulb (or nag LT to do it), and donate a bag o' crap to the thrift store, whereupon I'll undoubtedly decide to look around ("just for a second") and end up with more of the things I can't resist at thrift stores: rotary phones, Super-8 movie cameras, mambo records, tuxedo jackets [I'm your formalwear cross-dressin' ho]).

Did you know that I always travel with a glue stick? It is true. The notebooks that I carry around everywhere are a combination of written record and scrapbook---if I find some paper-based thing I enjoy (wacky labels, weird headlines, cool foreign movie stubs) I just paste it right in. So if you and I are ever hanging out together, and you start to feel a bit unglued, da da da da! Here I am with my glue stick, to save the day! For more on glue, check out This to That. The "Glue of the Month" is particularly unpleasant.

You should read about psychogeography. I like that "aimless drifting through the city" part.

A psychogeographical study of the containment of the London rave scene and teenage radio stations.

A new Mount Rushmore in...Florida? Good stuff about psychogeography and tourism.

That is very much more than enough, for now.

---mimi smartypants sees London, France, and coincidentally your underpants.


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