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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-02-08 ... 11:27 a.m.

Kicking ass. Taking names. Alphabetizing the ass-kicked names and running them through an analysis. Ever have one of those days where you mysteriously feel like an adult? That's me, today. Perhaps it is because I used a spreadsheet this morning. Several spreadsheets, in fact. The very term "spreadsheet" is kind of mysterious and evocative and seems to murmur of a whole separate, corporate, grown-up word, with important decisions and goings-on behind closed conference-room doors. Behind locked doors, where I slowly and teasingly spread my spreadsheet down on the conference room table's shiny top, and lovingly edit and manipulate its various formulas, rows, and cells until the break of dawn. Awwwww yeah.

Ahem. Sorry. No more office porn for you.

It's the wrong time of year for this link, and for that I apologize. But I've wondered about the connection between the "traditional" Hanukkah colors and the Israeli flag for a long time, and here's a (cached) article that wishily-washily doesn't really answer the question, but at least acknowledges it. And as long as my internal calendar is completely fucked, I might as well link this wacky thing about Christmas colors and hallucinogenic mushrooms. The drug theory of history strikes again.

You know you're overindulgent with your cat when you start leaving around things that really should be thrown away because "she likes it." Mine has taken to sitting in an old empty shirt box leftover from Christmas (there's Christmas again! what the hell?) and well, you know the rest. This keeping of the empty boxes is very embarrassing for me to admit. But hey, I want the animal to be happy.

Do you ever (especially when high) just look at your cat and think, This is so odd. There's a creature in my house. It does not run on batteries or gasoline, it doesn't have a set of programmed/programmable reactions, it has a tiny flame of free will, and itís going to do what it's going to do. No? OK then, that's just me.

I walked by the post office yesterday and noticed that they have an "Emergency Number" on the door. What qualifies as a postal emergency? Can I call in the middle of the night? Will my letter carrier show up to make it all better? [sobbing] I AM OUT OF STAMPS. COME QUICKLY.

Speaking of stamps, I highly recommend buying them online. Two very good reasons to do so: (1) not having to go to the post office (maybe you live somewhere with a friendly efficient post office, but here in Chicago each visit is a little taste of hell on earth, I'm not kidding), and (2) the huge selection. You don't have to settle for flowers or flags. Right now, for instance, I have carnivorous plant stamps. And what could be cooler than carnivorous plants? NOTHING.

I get the impression that the members of The International Carnivorous Plant Society are a fun bunch of people. I bet their annual meetings are awesome. Check out this FAQ about carnivorous plants, too: much more than you probably wanted to know. But that's what I'm here for, to overshare, overcommunicate, and generally do things to excess.

---mimi "weird, white, and promised to the night" smartypants


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