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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-02-02 ... 9:19 a.m.

I've been a social butterfly (or at least a social luna moth) (I don't eat; I only mate and reproduce) this week and thus don't really have the mental cojones to cobble together a decent narrative of the sort you would like to read. I don't even have that many funny stories from this week's drinking, so I'll just list the high points without being too detailed or full of inside jokes. (Such is the folly of the Web, where things that would be better scribbled on bar napkins are posted for all the world to see.) (DISCLAIMER MODE OFF.)

WEDS: tofu satay; smart girl smart art; the ennui of indie-rock shows that start way too late on a worknight. THURS: old friends; cheap beer; crabby metacommentary; the art student at Hopleaf who told me his senior project is to figure out what red means. FRI: new and old friends; Wallace Stevens; 12-tone music; beer; and an ambulance. Yes, for those of you who were worried that Delilah's is becoming all staid and moneyed and yuppie and Lincoln Park, rest assured that shortly before last call we were treated to fisticuffs and broken glass and belligerent bleeding skinheads. I was never actually in danger, and the night was definitely over by then, so it was surreal in a good way.

I can't quite get behind alternative-health sites like this one, because of my daily contact with high-quality medical information and my rarely-unwavering belief in good science (seriously, there should be a Church of the Neutrino or something at which I can attend services). But this is a good thing to read because it suddenly takes a turn for the weird, with this sentence: "If you stop dreaming, increase the dose again until dreaming."

As long as we're doing "medical language that suddenly takes a turn for the weird" (may I have this dance? May I escort you around the floor to the sweet wistful tunes of the Medical Language Takes a Turn for the Weird Orchestra? Ah, those fragrant summer nights), here's something about Alien Hand Syndrome. Read until the end. "The disturbing nocturnal activity of the hand was stilled by placing it in a common oven mitt."

If you search on "oven mitt" within PubMed you also get this abstract about a rectal oven mitt. What unpleasant shenanigans are they getting up to at the Bulgarian Military Medical Academy?

John Ashcroft + nipples.

I think that may be all. I know it's not much but we have to start somewhere.

---mimi smartypants is happy as a coupon for a $20 whore.


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