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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-01-23 ... 12:04 p.m.

If anyone puts one more piece of paper on my desk, I will scream. Either scream or fall upon my sword like a centurion. Better death than this dishonor. I can hardly see the forest for the pulp. I've been reading like a banshee (question: were/are banshees literate?) all day, trying to get things done, and when I concentrate I have a bad habit of twirling and generally yanking at my hair, and when I got up to get more tea I looked in the mirror and I had Beethoven hair. Not as in full of lead, but just generally wild and crazed. Not the best look for me.

Ever played that party game, "I Never"? (The author of this page misses the point a bit with the outlandish "nevers"'s more fun if you keep them within the realm of possibility, such as "I've never been arrested," "I've never had a three-way," etc.) (No, I won't tell you which one of those statements is false.) And all y'all would be doing shots or chugging beers or taking big giant bong hits if you played the game with me and I trotted out this one, which is 100% true: I Have Never Eaten a Pop-Tart. I ask you: Should I continue with my Pop-Tart free existence? Or is there a whole toaster-pastry world I'm missing out on here? It seems a little late in the game to suddenly start eating Pop-Tarts now, but if anyone feels strongly on this topic I'll give it a whirl.

Pop-Tart conflagration.

Isaac Newton and alchemy. Apparently he wrote over a million words on the topic, and went around for a while with weird embroidery on his robes, and stuck a knife behind his eyeball as an experiment, and had intense passionate attachments to younger men, and stayed up all night doing weird shit. And you only knew that falling apple story! "That which is Below is like that which is Above and that which is Above is like that which is Below to do the miracles of the Only Thing." Sure.

Alchemical symbols.

Oh. My new very favorite site ever. The symbols encyclopedia. Oh yes I said yes I will Yes. (Under the Moorish wall.) I could spend hours here (and probably will, later on). I'm strangely drawn to this one.

I'm reading three books at once and it's becoming a problem, they all start running together. I'm re-reading Novel With Cocaine, because of a half-remembered conversation over beers; I'm finishing Dogwalker, cute but not earth-shaking, with the odd good image; and of course I'm still working on Wittgenstein's Ladder, but I have to take periodic breaks from that or I will go mad, and my hair will become even more Beethoven-like than normal.

IT'S NO JOKE. "Escalators are six-ton moving machines and should be treated as such. Pay the same attention to an escalator as you would to a moving bus." I highly recommend poking around on this site for all your escalator- and elevator-related safety needs. Frankly I can't wait for the celebration. Who wants to plan a PowerPoint presentation with me on elevator safety?

(One dangerous elevator thing they forgot to mention: stressed-out editors practicing kung-fu kicks.)

---mimi "good-bye small hands, good-bye small heart" smartypants


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