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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-01-09 ... 10:41 a.m.

And the award for Most Disjointed Entry goes to me! Thank you!


a. I make too many lists

b. Perfectionism, which can lead to inactivity and a lack of follow-through

c. Hypercritical

d. Gloominess and pessimism

e. What may come off as a lack of compassion but is really just an awkwardness with emotions


1 is the number of mind

2 is maleness

3 is femaleness

4 is justice

5 is marriage

7 is opportunity

(No word on 6. I guess the devil is 6.)

(source: The Dream of Reason, Anthony Gottlieb)


---Mention that you like this or that particular word. Generally be a big word nerd.

---Have interests and get excited when you talk about them. If you have some verbal tic that comes out when you get excited, that's even better. (Example: my Classics professor, who was one of the most adorable people to ever walk the earth, used to use "we" and "us" when referring to the Athenians. "And then we WON the battle of Marathon!" he'd cry, scattering chalk dust everywhere.)

---Laugh at my jokes. Be funny yourself, in both the peculiar and ha-ha sense.

---Tell me things. Full disclosure. No detail too small.

---This one is kind of specific to LT: draw a picture of a cow eating a copy of Philosophical Investigations by Ludwig Wittgenstein.

---Although I'll get all flustered and stammery, compliment me on something girly like my eyes or how nice I smell.

---Understand the milk story, or pretend like you do.

--- Invite me up to your room to listen to your Gregorian chant CD. (Just kidding.)


Oh, I think we've covered that, in multiple entries about my gritty urban existence. But a few more include spitting, whistling in public (you may be the Happy Fucking Wanderer and have a song in your heart, but that is where it should stay), being so self-important that you are busy formulating your next statement while other people are talking, and asking me to post a picture of myself on this site (if you don't understand why that's So Very Beside the Point I can't help you).


My Dad Is Dead

We Are Going to Eat You

Behold! The Living Corpse

Pop Will Eat Itself (Warning: yellow page.)

They Eat Their Own (I vaguely remember the "Like a Drug" song from my days in college radio. This shows up on lots of people's list of "CDs I own" [once again: why put that online?] but there is no useful link. And I tried. Oh believe me baby, I tried.)

God Is My Co-Pilot

They Might Be Giants

Godspeed You Black Emperor!

And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead (not a sentence fragment: they can begin with coordinating conjunctions as long as there's still subject and verb)


Chinese jump rope (no)

Chinese fire drill (no)

Chinese handcuffs (no)

Chinese water torture (no)

Chinese checkers (no)

Chinese room logic problem used a lot in discussions of artificial intelligence (not really)

Many of these are debunked in one specific debunking place.

Speaking of lists, why do people link to their Amazon wish lists? I think it's a kind of lazy shorthand, an assumption that people can tell what sort of person you are by the media you own or would like to own, and putting it online makes me wonder if people use it as precisely that. Since on the Internet no one knows if you're really as cultured/well-read as you seem, do you suspect that people pad their wish lists with things that they think will "reveal" their personality (or the personality they wish they had)? Oh, not consciously, as in making up a wish list wholesale, but you know, just slipping in some challenging music or books on hot literary theory here and there.

OK, add "untrusting" up there to my list of faults.

I just noticed my "Bottled at the Source Crystal Geyser Natural Alpine Spring Water" not only has 5 different fonts on its front label alone but also has the words "By CG Roxane." Since when is water "by" anyone? Next time I make dinner, I'm going to add a title page. Tofu-Stuffed Pasta Shells by Mimi Smartypants. And what the hell is a crystal geyser? Aren't geysers hot? Or is a crystal geyser a geyser that spews crystals all over the place? (Ow, my eye!)

Geyser. Geyser. Geyser.

---m-m-m-mimi smartypants


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