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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-11-21 ... 12:15 p.m.

Oh ho! Have I died? Did I go on vacation? Did I fall down a steep well, and the entire community came together and held vigils and sang songs and worked around the clock to save me, and my plucky indomitable spirit uplifted every heart tonight on the Lifetime Original Movie? Have I dropped out of society and decided to stay in my room, admiring how I look in this hat? None of the above. I just haven't felt like updating in a while. (Although that is some hat. I would like to see Osama bin Laden wearing that hat. I think it would look quite nice on him.)

Speaking of, I know a lot of people feel horror and outrage at the killing of Taliban soldiers by the opposition. Somehow I just don't. The Taliban held public executions on a near-daily basis for years for infractions such as traveling without a male relative. I'm not suggesting a Taliban bloodbath or anything, but really, what goes around comes around. It seems strange to moan about those poor captured Taliban soldiers, when (a) they planned their existence around jihad, so it's not as if they were expecting to live long, healthy lives, (b) many of them are not even Afghan nationals but mercenaries, and (c) it's war. (And on a lighter note, some of these cartoons make me giggle so much my face hurts. At first I hesitated to link them because one has to have a certain kind of twisted mind to enjoy the dark humor, and a certain kind of inner 12-year-old boy to enjoy the use of foul language in an office setting. But I think you people can handle it.)

There is a rumor afoot that at the house where I will be spending Thanksgiving (the in-laws, sigh), ham, and not turkey, will be served. This had better not be true. I don't even eat turkey but I'm a staunch traditionalist in this area. And does ham equal no stuffing? There goddamn better well be stuffing. If not, I shall be polite and gracious at first, but after a bunch of wine I may begin to make pointed remarks. Perhaps I shall drink a bunch of wine and make pointed remarks anyway, that sounds like fun. Of course, were it up to me we'd all eat massive amounts of vegetarian Indian food for Thankgiving. I would volunteer to carve the giant dosa.

On the way home yesterday, I saw a man in the subway who, in between hoots on the harmonica, would rap patriotic raps about the USA and Jesus while (sort of) tap dancing. He was also wearing a giant Uncle Sam hat. This seemed unnecessarily complicated to me. I suggest picking one form of irritating street entertainment and sticking with it.

---mimi smartypants, busking consultant


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