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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-11-15 ... 4:09 p.m.

I like the fact that (judging by my stats tracker) a lot of people seem to read this Thing from work. You're all a bunch of slackers! (Hello Kettle? This is Pot. You're black!)

I've been a busy girl. Work, my drinking schedule (I don't know if it's the cooler weather or what, but I seem to have switched to wine lately: mmm-mmm Pinot Noir), and Italian class have all conspired to keep me from updating. Italian class has started to irritate me slightly, by the way. It's still a worthwhile endeavor, and I am learning, but in certain small ways the teacher strikes me as lazy and and I'm not sure we're not learning all we could be. For instance, at least once each class she sends us off with some model sentence builders in the book, like "Are you very (generous, studious, fill in the blank)?" "No, I am not very generous, etc" and tells us to talk to at least 5 people in class. The concepts are so simple---things like matching the gender of adjectives---and I just don't see how wasting 15-20 minutes on a bunch of identical 3-word sentences is useful. The other night I simply excused myself and went to get some tea during this portion of class, because the whole thing just struck me as such a waste of time. Also (and this is a more minor complaint), there seems to be a tendency to teach to the slowest student. And that's very kind and caring and all, but really, if you're at week 6 of a foreign languange and still not grasping the concept that the ending of a verb will tell you who is speaking, it's time to reevaluate your motives and abilities.

Sorry to come off as a conceited little brat there.

This week I also learned that Diet Pepsi with lemon tastes like furniture polish. (Not that I go around drinking furniture polish. I'm exaggerating in order to heighten the sensory detail. Oh, me so literary!) We had a little reception/party at work, and those were the only beverages left by the time I got there, and I opened one in the spirit of adventure and had a sip, and then had to sneak the full but open can back onto the beverage table. Just godawful. Besides drinking alcohol, the consumption of Diet Pepsi is probably my worst health habit (if they ever discover that Nutrasweet gives you a third eye, I'm totally screwed...or blessed, depending on how you look at it), but if I'm going to indulge I shall stick with the original formula, thanks anyway.

Lemon is a difficult artificial flavor to reproduce, actually. It's funny, many artificial flavors taste nothing like the original fruit they are supposedly based on (watermelon and banana are particularly egregious examples), but everyone immediately parses "watermelon flavor." When it comes to flavors, signifier and signified are separate categories and rightfully should be treated as such: faithful replication long ago ceased to be the point. In fact, a more accurate artificial watermelon flavor probably wouldn't go over well with the public: "That doesn't taste like watermelon!" There's a lousy semiotics paper somewhere in here, but you'd have to eat a lot of Lemonheads and Dum-Dums etc as "primary research." Be my guest.

Misterpants has already linked it to death in the context of his temporary Abe Lincoln obsession, but I'm still amazed that the Association of Lincoln Presenters exists and I need to share it with the world. I'd like to sneak into the convention and take candids. Lincoln at the urinal! Lincoln eating a taco! Lincoln trying to get his hotel room key to work! Do they have seminars, like at other professional conferences? How much new material/information can there be? Are there exhibit halls and merchandise booths, with the latest in stovepipe hats?

One more link and then I'll leave you alone. Throw away your Paxil prescriptions, folks, all you need to be happy are some anal contractions. (Yes, it's real.)

---mimi smartypants was awfully negative today. Boo.


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