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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04


2008-10-10 ... 10:58 a.m.

OH HOORAY

Wonderful people have succeeded where I could not: here is my beloved Brinks commercial!

IS IT NOT THE BEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE?

Ahem, sorry. I am a little obsessed. I know you couldn't tell, seeing as how this is only the third entry that deals with Brinks and their awesome little snapshot of white upper-middle-class homeowner anxiety, but I just thought I would mention it.

DRAFT BEER AND THE SILENT "E"

This week has been kind of stressful and stupid for both work- and hormone-related reasons, and the other day I alerted LT to the necessity of chucking all family meal planning for that night and going to the pizza place instead. Nora had a page of homework to do so I said bring it with! Because lord knows I don't want to sit and watch you write out lists of rhyming words without beer, pizza, and big-screen ESPN! So my child did her homework in a tavern, by candlelight. It was sort of how kids in colonial times operated, except for the television and garlic fries. She got a small grease stain on one of the pages and wanted to circle it and write PIZZA with an arrow, but I talked her out of it because the teacher does not need to know of our bad study habits. Yet.

THEY'RE HERE

This is the text of an email I sent to my (very patient, very understanding, very used to this type of correspondence) friend when I got to work this morning:

Subject: AMISH

Message: I come walking up LaSalle this morning and there are like three AMISH guys milling around gawking at buildings and such. STRAW HATS and BEARDS. Fucking AMISH, man! Where did they come from? How did they get here? I don't want the goddamn Amish in the city, they should stay wherever the fuck they live! I considered throwing down my briefcase and rushing at them RRRAAAARRR, offensive-lineman style, but I was totally outnumbered and with my luck it would make the news as a "hate crime." Which I guess it would be.

Anyway, be careful today because the AMISH are out and about.

If I also see a nun and a clown today, then the Trifecta of Terror will be complete.

---mimi smartypants wants to save you money on long distance.


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