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the latest
waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04
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THE TIME I HALLUCINATED AN ENTIRE RESTAURANT A few years ago, I was walking back to my office from lunch. Lunchtime options in River North are plentiful, but it's always nice to see new restaurants, so as I strolled past the corner of Wabash and Huron, I was pleased to see, in place of the dry cleaners that had been there, an empty storefront with a sign that said COMING SOON: NORTH AFRICAN FOOD AND COUSCOUS or something like that. Hmm, I thought. That could be pleasant. I pictured myself getting a veg couscous takeaway, or even better, some Ethiopian dish with that delightful spongy bread. About two weeks later, I thought, Hey, that couscous place should be open by now, and went back to that storefront, only to find the dry cleaners right where it always had been and no couscous restaurant in sight. I even walked around, several blocks in each direction, just to make sure I hadn't misremembered the location. No couscous restaurant. Anywhere. Scary. But it would have been even scarier if I had actually HAD LUNCH at the imaginary restaurant. Then I would have checked myself in for a rest cure. Ack, I tire of narrative. Here are some good links: How not to masturbate. I have three favorite parts: (1) the secret calendar where you color the square black if you do masturbate; (2) awarding yourself a quarter (oh boy!) for every day you manage not to masturbate; and (3) the always-reliable tying your hand to the bedpost (kinky!). This recipe is totally disgusting. Scroll down (or don't). Creatively named convenience store chain. Otherwise known as "Ejaculate and Evacuate." This is just my own silliness: in the spirit of postmodernism, I would love to have a photocake made with a photograph of a cake on it. ---mimi "buttercream frosting" smartypants back/forward |
