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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2001-07-25 ... 1:18 p.m.

Still I have the laryngitis, and it's very very annoying. Last night I downloaded Willowtalk, which is what the author of this page used to create a Stephen Hawking voice. Hey, maybe it's what the Hawk-man himself uses, what do I know, although I would hope he'd have some system a bit more sophisticated than this one. It's okay but of course it suffers from chat room syndrome: you just can't type fast enough to keep up, not really. (And I type really freaking fast, so step off, sucka.) I recommend the free download, though, for a laugh: for some reason it is ever so much fun to type in phrases like "You people are full of crap," or "A round of tequila for all my friends," or "No, monkey, no, you are a bad monkey" and hear them read aloud in a Stephen Hawking voice. (Hint: use the voice called "Paul.") I'm debating loading this onto my laptop and bringing it to a meeting this afternoon that I must attend, so that I may participate, at least in a lame fashion, but I know it would be just too tempting to load it up with some silly phrase like those above and disrupt the proceedings. Did I ever mention how much I like to disrupt proceedings? If you ever are out and about in Chicago and feel like disrupting some proceedings, give me a call. Let us disrupt the proceedings, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky... (Hmmm. Perhaps I am still a bit feverish?)

I am very hungry, and yet there is nothing in particular that I wish to eat. I have Weltschmerz, only with food. What's German for food? Do I have Lebensmittelschmerz? No, that can't be right.

THE FOLLOWING HAS ONLY A TENUOUS CONNECTION TO "FOOD"----A greasy spoon in my neighborhood is quite fond of spelling out pseudo-pithy sayings on their sign. Lately it says, "The way you live your life rings in eternity." OK, whatever. What got me is that underneath there it says, "Help Wanted."

After reading a statement like that, would you go in and apply at the greasy spoon? Hey, you might need a job, but wouldn't that make you think twice? "Whoa...maybe I do want to go back to school after all..."

Not that there's anything wrong with working at the greasy spoon. Man, I am enjoying typing "greasy spoon" way too much. (Perhaps greasy spoon is the new disrupt the proceedings, the way orange is the new black, and cat is the new dog.) It's time to let the Stephen Hawking voice have a crack at it.

quod deus vult perdere prius dementat,

---mimi smartypants


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