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the latest
waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04
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HOT It is brutal out there today. BRUTAL. With a capital BREW. Actually I'm not having beer right now, but that sounds nice. I went out to run some errands before taking off on my trip. (Do you like how I pretended that this morning was the last entry before vacation? Ha! Fooled you! Man, you are easy to fool.) And it is all sweaty and horrible outside. Chicago is going to lose some of its elderly before this heat wave is over, mark my words. Also, I think that sometimes Chicago must run specials on certain kind of tourists, because today certainly seemed like Fat Bald Guy On Vacation With Golden Brown Overaerobicized Trophy Wife In Tiny White Shorts Day. I know I was up around Michigan Avenue (where such dyads are more common anyway) but it seemed excessive to me. FOOD COMBINATIONS THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED QUASI SUICIDE ATTEMPTS OR AT THE VERY LEAST CRIES FOR HELP 1. Bag of Cheetos, seven Mickey's Big Mouths 2. Banana yogurt and pretzels with mustard 3. Bourbon and Funyuns 4. Clam chowder, fried clams, and Clamato (way exceeds the clam barrier) 5. Guacamole and champagne 6. Fifteen cigarettes and order of cheese fries FOUR VERY BAD ADS 2. Chicago Tribune: Beyond Words (what, it's all pictures now? or is it some sort of militant anti-Wittgenstein thing?) 3. There used to be a commercial wherein some unfortunate actress had to say, "I don't have time for a yeast infection." 4. That ad for the Marines where a guy slays a giant videogame seven-headed hydra. Not a lot of monster-killing going on in the Marines. More like a lot of pushups in the rain and repressed homoeroticism. 5. Mach 3 is too fast a speed at which to shave. You are definitely going to cut yourself. On my hot, trophy-wife-intensive lunchtime jaunt, one of my tasks was to buy another book for my trip, because I only have one unread book and that is not going to cut it for two overnight plane rides and several journeys by train. I ended up buying Rick Moody's The Black Veil (in hardcover, yet!), even though Caterina didn't care for it. I am in a Moody Mood and I can't think of anything more appropriate to read on a hallucinatory transatlantic flight, when I am full of cheap airplane-quality Merlot and kava kava and trying to sleep, than a lengthy self-referential meditation on grief and shame. The Borders clerk who rang the book up for me gave me some sort of weird secret smile when he saw it, and I am not sure what that was supposed to mean. For everything I bought today (small order of french fries, pepsi, Rick Moody memoir) I have had exact change. Woo hoo! Change Nerds Rule! WORDS USED MORE THAN ONCE IN A SINGLE RECENT MEMO FROM TOP BRASS AT MY COMPANY teamwork, outstanding, strong, change, dynamic, positive, exciting, challenging, transition, responsibility, support, initiative. ---mimi smartypants likes the phrase "platoon of squeegees." back/forward |
