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the latest waddle:

good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03

elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01

building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19

ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09

my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04

2002-04-15 ... 11:49 a.m.

Give it up for Monday, everybody. Today is apparently SPIFFY (link provided for the newcomers: there were tons of notify list signups this weekend) and I am terrified. I have an appointment in but a few hours with the "personal shopper" woman at Nordstrom. This frightening development was precipitated by the fact that although I bitch nearly every day about how I need to acquire more grown-up clothes to wear to the San Diego conference, I've yet to make any moves in that direction. Every time I think, "okay, I shall go shopping after work on x date," I will have a crap day and feel like going home instead. Or all manner of publishing disasters will transpire and I will have to work late. Or some important appointment (eg, an invitation to go drink beer) will come up and preempt the shopping trip. It seems I am too feeble to shop on my own, so I have called in the experts. Jesus Christ, though. Pray for me.


The personal-shopping woman asked me some odd questions on the phone as we made the appointment: how tall am I (pretty damn short), my skin tone (greenish), and my "personal style" (uhhhhh.....). She also accidentally called me "Rebecca" at one point, which really freaked me out, since EVERY TIME someone calls me by the wrong name they use "Becky" or "Rebecca" or some variant thereof. It's very weird. I don't have an unusual first name, exactly, but it's not one you hear every single day, so you'd think it would stick in people's minds.


LT was still on his grilling kick last night, and made the most awesome grilled salmon I think I've ever had. I would post the recipe here, but I think it's either something he modified pretty aggressively or mostly made up as he went along (he's not real big on following the rules when he cooks). There was marinade involved, with fresh orange juice, bourbon, brown sugar, green onions, and soy sauce, and the salmon got kind of blackened and crispy, and it reminded me a bit of unagi. Heck yeah. It was almost enough to make me permanently modify my "no vertebrates" vegetarianism to "nothing with lungs," if I could eat fish like that every night. And it did a pretty good job of fending off the Sunday Sadness. But then I had to go and ruin that crescent-fresh mood by reading some John Berryman (instant weepiness) and attempting to watch an old TiVo'd Six Feet Under (that Brenda character is a little bit too close for comfort sometimes. Except I'm not as annoying or slutty.)


Here's a poem I wrote this morning that consists ENTIRELY of the (common, colloquial, not scientific) names of fish. Read it out loud and with great emotion. At the next poetry slam I stumble across perhaps I will torture people with my dramatic names-of-fish reading.


Ornate cowfish.
Clownfish, waspfish, frogfish
ocellated flounder. Waspfish triggerfish
boxfish orangeback angelfish,
obscure blenny---weakfish, bonefish. Suckermouth
pighead prickleback.
Picnic seabream, lyretail, pencilled surgeonfish
silverside leatherjacket. Powder-blue tang.
Persian sturgeon! Pliska! Ploska!
Pinkbar goby! Resplendent goldie!
Stinkfish lungfish robust boxfish. Lyretail.
Bonefish silverside smalleye smooth-head
croaker? Striped damsel. Queenfish. Old wife.
Wahoo! Stargazer.

If you want to know more fishy names, I suggest you consult FishBase.


Caller ID from beyond the grave: mysteriously president-intensive. Why in the world would dead ex-presidents be calling this guy, anyway? I like how he says, "I'm still bewildered." Methinks you may just stay that way.

My new favorite element is cesium. It is crazy dangerous. It is never found uncombined in nature. Don't mess with cesium.

A craft project that could just save your life. The government is stealing our thoughts.

Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I like to bite peasant girls. Mmmm, peasant girls.

---mimi smartypants, talking fast on the edge of nothing.


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