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the latest
waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04
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AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT AN HREF= THING, by mimi smartypants Good shower reading: the conditioner I'm using has some copy on the back of its container that instructs you to leave it on your head for one to three minutes "depending on the extent of distress." I like being forced to gauge the extent of my distress every morning. Also good shower reading: of course, Dr Bronner's Peppermint Soap (you have to stick with the peppermint, the other ones smell weird to me), with its "wandering clowns" and "shepherd-astronomers." Speaking of extent of distress: Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Not that I've got anything against life, but I do see the fundamental truth of that. (The page omits the rest of the "horrible/miserable" quotation, which is from Annie Hall: he goes on to explain that if your situation is not horrible [blind, crippled, prisoner of war, terminally ill, etc], you should be grateful that you're merely miserable.) I remember this from my symphony days: everyone likes to pick on the viola. Then again, the rest of the orchestra deserves some shit as well. I did lots of laundry yesterday. Also, some Greek food was eaten, in honor of my mother's birthday. The skordalia at this particular Greek restaurant is amazingly garlicky. I like garlic a lot, but this level of garlic is exceptional: hours later, the garlic taste comes back through all the toothpaste you can throw at it and actually wakes you up out of a sound sleep. I kept dreaming about dancing garlic bulbs with wicked expressions, until I finally got up and started drinking strong-ass tea. TWO MINOR IRRITATIONS, BOTH TANGENTIALLY ANIMAL-RELATED 1. Every single time NPR reports some story from the developing world there are chickens clucking in the background. I realize that there are legitimately a lot of chickens in the world. But really, I think they rely on the chicken sounds a bit too much for atmosphere purposes. I can just picture some nerd with headphones saying "3, 2, 1, cue the chickens!" 2. I watched a television dinosaur program recently and the dinosaurs made ENTIRELY TOO MUCH NOISE. The show's creators had a segment with their computer-generated dinosaurs hunting in a pack, and they (the computer-generated dinosaurs, not the program creators) were vocalizing the whole time "chirp! squeak!" which pardon me very much but when was the last time you saw a noisy predator sneaking up on prey? I had to delete this program from TiVo in my anger. How can we plan our 2002 vacations if we don't know the DATES OF THE NEXT FESTIVAL? This shit's got to get updated, yo! (And don't you love the weird close-up of fried chicken used as a design element, to the left?) I came across a printout of this (takes a while to load, be patient) in a file drawer yesterday and was glad to find it still online. I fear impermanence. ---mimi "quick, cache everything!" smartypants back/forward |
