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the latest
waddle: good morning, wordpress - 10:36 a.m. , 2009-07-03 elaborate murder attempt - 2:56 p.m. , 2009-07-01 building a tractor in the basement - 10:42 a.m. , 2009-06-19 ask no questions tell just a few lies - 3:17 p.m. , 2009-06-09 my long lasting flavor really lasts long - 1:10 p.m. , 2009-06-04
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The very best thing happened to me just now. I'm on the bus going home, and it's insanely crowded, and what's the best thing to go along with "insanely crowded"? An insane person! Yes! There seriously has to be some way we can get the mentally ill to ride public transit at only off-peak hours. Maybe I'll write to the mayor about that. Anyway, this particular insane person is an old lady with some sort of religious psychosis, ranting about Jesus etc, and here are some quotes free of charge: "I walk with the Holy Ghost" (I'm sure you do), "America is an evil country" (okay, that's debatable, but at least you can live your full insane life in relative freedom and peace here), and "The Jews reject god. Soon the world will go to war against the Jews" (given the bus route you're on, you may want to lay off comments of that nature. We know you're just a crazy old lady but some of those Lubavitchers are pretty burly and sensitive). Oh, and of course she had that whole echolalia thing going on and thus, like some demented preacher (which in a sense she was), had to say each of her crazy statements at least three times, at top volume. Normally I am very tolerant of the bus-riding crazies, but I felt tired and cranky on this particular day, so when she launched into a hideously misinformed anti-choice rap: "We got mothers killing their own children. Not even animals do that!" I just had to come out with "Oh sure they do. Haven't you ever had a hamster?" This got some stifled laughter from the rest of the bus (thank you, thank you very much. I'll be here all week), but it did not deter her. It did, however, have an unexpected but welcome side effect: her eyes got real wide and she yelled, "ARE YOU SATAN?" to which I could only nod and grin wildly and flash her the devil-horns hand sign, Motley-Crue style (well, what would you have done?). She freaked and shuffled away from me muttering "I can't stand next to Satan. Oh no, I can't stand next to Satan. Oh help me Jesus" etc. I suppose I should feel bad taking advantage of some unfortunate woman's particular psychosis but if it buys me some breathing room and peace and quiet on the commute home, that's fine with me. ---mimi "really I'm just a fallen angel" smartypants back/forward |
